News Dodging the obstacles in Finland, Sweden and Russia Facebook Twitter Email SMS WhatsApp Share By J. Correspondent | July 14, 1995 Travel in Finland, Sweden and Russia can be exhilarating. A smidgen of caution, however, can fend off a slew of physical and mental perils: *Don't lounge for an hour and a half the first time you visit a sauna. Your newly acquired fire-engine-red skin could shrivel four or five sizes. *Don't wander Helsinki's streets at night after Finland's hockey team has whupped Sweden's. You'll stumble into a drunken Finn – one of tens of thousands of them crammed into a few downtown blocks — and bruise one of your body parts. *Don't let your toenails grow too long. You're sure to trip over a threshold — Finland's are exceptionally high — and turn at least one of those nails black and blue. *Don't ride the Friday-night Helsinki-to-Sweden ferry. It's then that 2,000 weekending schoolkids pour cheap alcohol into their hormone-gorged bodies and kill all vestiges of reason as well as your chances of sleep. *Don't meander aimlessly in Stockholm unless you like being repeatedly bumped. The king has apparently banished the English phrase "excuse me" from Swedish usage. *Don't let your toddlers channel-surf in Swedish hotels. Hard-core porno gets more airtime than "Beavis and Butthead," heh heh. *Don't tape your hotel safety deposit key inside a kippah which you then stow in a concealed flap in a checked suitcase. Your hair could turn as white as the skullcap trying to remember where the key went. *Don't stay at the Prin, a three-star hotel in St. Petersburg, lest you tempt Murphy's Law. The hotel overlooks an industrial park that resembles a toxic waste dump. Its faucets spew sludge. And it features a squealing elevator straight from a 1931 Boris Karloff horror flick. *Don't stroll moonlit avenues of St. Petersburg alone. You might run into a menacing Russian-Mafia guy flaunting a new Mercedes, cellular phone and assorted "Natashas of the night." *Don't pay attention to ragtag Russian musicians, tip boxes at the ready, as you step off a tourist bus. They will play "The Star-Spangled Banner" and "America the Beautiful" until you cry Uncle Sam. J. Correspondent Also On J. Bay Area Marin teen travels solo to Israel to volunteer on evacuated kibbutzim Philanthropy Devastation and hope in Israel on Federation fact-finding mission Art A Jewish artist so gifted, he could even teach a stone to paint Local Voice I was shouted down for condemning Hamas in Oakland City Council Subscribe to our Newsletter Enter Email Sign Up