Customer focus

Rachel and her husband, Max, are in Minky’s Deli in West Palm Beach, Fla. Even though Rachel always seems to find something to moan about there, they still go regularly because they like the food and seeing their fellow seniors.

As usual, within minutes of taking their seats, Rachel starts to bother their waiter. “Waiter,” she says, “please turn up the air conditioning. You know I can’t stand the heat.”

But five minutes later, she asks him to turn down the air conditioning because she is too cold. Soon after, she wants it turned up again because she’s too hot. After their food arrives, Rachel is at last silent as she eats her meal.

Maurice, who is sitting near Rachel and Max’s table, can’t help but notice that at no time does the waiter show any anger. In fact he is surprisingly patient.

So as the waiter walks by his table, Maurice calls him over and says quietly, “I can’t understand why you don’t just throw this customer out of the restaurant.”

“We don’t really mind,” says the waiter, “because not only do we have a customer focus where the customer is always right — but also, we don’t have any air conditioning.”

© david minkoff

Ambition

A rabbi and a priest were discussing their professions.

“Do you ever get ambitious?” asked the priest.

“Well,” said the rabbi, “I suppose I could always move to a larger congregation. What about you?”

“Well, I suppose I could become a cardinal.”

“And then?”

“Well, it’s theoretically possible that I could become the pope.”

“And then?” asked the rabbi.

“And then?” repeated the priest. “Isn’t that enough? Do you want me to become God?”

“Well,” said the rabbi softly, “one of our boys made it.”

From “The Big Book of Jewish Humor”