They have been known to show up in a champagne glass, around the neck of a teddy bear or just in a plain velvet box.
They can be ornate, sparkling and elegant or simply classic in style.
No matter what package an engagement ring comes in, the joyful reaction is generally the same. It’s obvious that these practices are rooted deeply in tradition. Exactly how this symbol of the ultimate promise between lovers came about is as interesting as the ring itself.
The ring’s origin as a sign of nuptial unity dates back as far as 509 BCE. In ancient Rome, the first wedding rings were signets, which a man gave to his wife after their marriage. These iron rings had flat tops that, when pressed in wax, made a kind of seal signifying ownership.
The ring was worn on the third finger (not counting the thumb) because it was believed an artery ran from there straight to the heart.
At a time when no legal marriage contracts were required, Romans and Greeks took the giving of these rings very seriously. They considered the ring a firm sign that the woman would carry out her duty to preserve her husband’s household. The only real criteria was the public demonstration of intent by the giver and the wearer of the ring. This led to the belief that the wedding ring signified authority, fidelity and a binding agreement of troth.
Elsewhere, marriage was not always so private an affair. The Christian version of this institution consisted of first a betrothal ceremony and then the marriage. As early as 860, the bride was given a betrothal ring at the time of her engagement. The betrothal was legally binding and she was expected to wear the ring forever after.
One of the earliest types of betrothal bands is the gimmal, the original double ring that was separated during the wedding ceremony for each partner to wear. This type of ring often had inscriptions inside the band and elaborate enamel work on the outside.
Some gimmals had five to eight links that were engraved with words that made up a posy, or sentimental poem. Posy rings were common between the 14th and 18th centuries in Europe and were worn by both men and women.
By the late 18th century, rings studded with jewels whose initials spelled a sentimental expression had come into fashion. A favored word was “regard,” using a ruby, emerald, garnet, amethyst, another ruby and a diamond.
By 1870, engagements as we know them today had become merely customary.
Eventually, even the rings themselves went through some changes. Instead of just a plain silver band (gold was strictly for nobility), European bridal rings took the shape of twin hearts pierced by Cupid’s arrow or a single heart inside a hand.
In fifth-century Italy the engagement ring first appeared with a diamond. Designers are said to have chosen this stone because its beauty and hardness could symbolize a couple’s strengthening devotion and enduring love.
The ring is thought to have entered the Jewish marriage ceremony during the 7th or 8th century. It was given instead of the mohar, a price paid to the bride’s family in exchange for the pending loss of her wages.