Most married women enjoy reminiscing about their wedding and giving advice to their engaged friends, whether their day went without a hitch or held unexpected drama — like the groom’s limo blowing a tire on the interstate or a DJ who didn’t show up or the air-conditioning failing at the reception on a 90-degree day.
But wedding disasters aside, as they look back what would women do differently at their wedding? For some, a scaled-down affair would be in order.
“I would have made it smaller and more intimate. About 85 people were there; maybe I’d have cut the list down to 25, with no bridesmaids or groomsmen,” says Sarah, who met and married her husband in Colorado.
“I’d have chosen a smaller band, too, or maybe just background music. Instead we had a five-piece deal. The people from the New Year’s party at the same country club kept filtering over to our party because they liked our band, which was a compliment to the band, but kind of a pain. Oh, and I would have actually sat down and eaten the food we paid a bundle for!”
Wendy, a writer from New York City, would have opted for a more intimate wedding, too. “We had 100 guests, but in retrospect I would have liked to have had about 60,” she says. We could have cut the list more.”
She also regrets the decision to have her dress made. “In the end the dress wasn’t done on time. I had to buy a very expensive cocktail dress at the last minute.”
Instead of spending money on a designer dress, she would have hired a “truly excellent” photographer. “My husband and I decided to save money on the photography, but now we really wish we had a picture of the two of us together. Just one would be nice — and we don’t have any. Other than that, our wedding was divine. And I loved every single minute of it.”
The photographer at Mary’s wedding had “a set idea of the shots that he thought belonged in a wedding album.” This stay-at-home mom from Califon, N.J., loves the standard family photos he took, but wishes she’d directed him to take photos of their friends. “It would be wonderful to have pictures of them enjoying themselves at the wedding. It was quite a party!”
Jennifer, a thrifty mom from Trumbull, Conn., would rethink her budget. “Looking back at my wedding, my advice would have to be to focus on one or two things that are really important to you — for me, more flowers — and spend your money there. Everything else can be done less expensively if it’s not as big a priority.”
Weddings are rarely perfect and women who have danced a mile in a bride’s shoes would all give this advice to those planning their big day: What’s important is that you and your groom are creating the first memories of your life together and it’s where you’re heading that matters.