When Dr. Robert T. Mendle died last week at age 59, a hospice nurse who worked closely with him, was heard to say: “There’s God, and then there’s Dr. Mendle.”
Mendle was no god, but he certainly seemed omnipotent. Physician, outdoorsman, artist, gourmet chef, music connoisseur — he could do it all. In the wake of his Nov. 11 death from esophageal cancer, those that knew him best say Mendle also had it all, living life to the fullest up to the end.
Mendle enjoyed a 30-year career in medicine, both as associate clinical professor at UCSF and in a private practice. “He was a throwback to how it used to be in medicine,” said his wife, Carla Ruff. “The last thing he did before he retired in March was to make a house call. He loved what he did.”
For several years, Mendle served on the board of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center and helped establish its hospice program. He also served on the board of Rhoda Goldman Plaza and had been a member of Congregation Rodef Sholom in San Rafael. “He read serious Jewish books,” noted Ruff. “We always did the holidays. He would be the patriarch.”
His children — including a son and daughter from a previous marriage, and a stepdaughter with Ruff — also benefited from his kindness.
Remembers daughter Simcha Mendle, “He spent a ton of time with us. He encouraged us to embrace and explore life.” That meant taking her and brother Max on trips to Europe and Israel, and enrolling them in a Japanese language immersion school.
“He learned how to make sushi,” said Simcha Mendle, “and would send us to school with a sushi lunch.”
A fifth-generation San Franciscan and son of a doctor, Robert Mendle graduated from George Washington High School before attending medical school. He traveled as a young man, even living on an Israeli kibbutz.
For 13 years, he shared a practice with his father, Dr. Robert Mendle, and he also enjoyed a long association with Mt. Zion Hospital.
Nine years ago, Mendle met Carla Ruff. Both were divorced and hovering around 50. “We both felt fortunate to find each other. We were astounded at the number of interests we shared, from birding to flowers to travel to music to dancing,” she said.
The couple married 18 months ago, after the cancer diagnosis.
Throughout his illness, Mendle never gave up. He took time to meditate, often joined by good friend Michael Barenbaum, rabbi emeritus from Rodef Sholom.
A few weeks ago, when Mendle knew the end was approaching, Ruff held a “living wake” for her husband. “People gathered and said wonderful things,” she said. “He faced [cancer], he didn’t shy away from it, but he didn’t dwell on it.”
“He was such a lovely, marvelous person,” said Rabbi Eric Weiss of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center. “He was dedicated to living until his last breath.”
Robert Mendle is survived by wife Carla Ruff; daughter Simcha Mendle, son-in-law Ward Nickle and granddaughter Amaya Mendle-Nickle of Arcata; son Max Mendle; stepdaughter Eliza Strauss; and parents Barbara and Robert Mendle, of San Francisco.
In lieu of flowers, contributions can be sent to the Robert T. Mendle Memorial Fund, c/o Mt. Zion Health Fund, 121 Steuart St., S.F., CA 94105, made payable to the Mt. Zion Health Fund with “Robert Mendle” indicated in the memo field.