Three months ago, at a local meeting for Brit Tzedek v’Shalom — an organization that has since integrated itself into J Street — we discussed how we might reach out to the larger Jewish community.
We talked about approaching synagogues to see if we could have dialogues there about the prolonged and painful conflict between Israel and the Palestinian people. A Jewish-Jewish dialogue.
Later, one of our members told us that one of the local rabbis she approached was very sympathetic to our request. At the same time, he did not feel he could invite us to his congregation because the topic has become too divisive — and he wanted his synagogue to be a place of unity.
He also told her that he was worried about the possibility of a very strong negative reaction from some members of the board and other congregants. He had to decline our request.
I understand this rabbi’s dilemma. I understand his desire to keep his synagogue a place of peace and unity.
I also feel sad that we reached a point where honest discussions about certain issues — including Israel and Palestinians — have become so divisive that there is not a place for them in some Jewish institutions.
It is time for us to become more honest and ask ourselves: Are we really united when it comes to some issues, if one them is the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? Is a sense of false unity better than a painful and respectful dialogue where we can both listen to the other Jews and have other Jews listen to us?
Israel, which used to unite us as Jews, is becoming more and more a place that may divide us.
Years ago, Israel was a unifying entity in the American Jewish psyche. Those who grew up during and after the creation of the state of Israel felt pride and awe with the emerging Jewish state. The generation of the late ’60s and ’70s grew up in the years following the Six-Day War euphoria.
Jerusalem was unified and Israel was the admired victorious state. Many American Jews felt a deep sense of pride and safety as a result.
The younger Jewish American generations have grown up witnessing suicide bombers and the constant firing of rockets from Gaza into southern Israel. They also have watched house demolitions, check points, the erection of the fence on Palestinian land, Operation Cast Lead and the blockade of Gaza.
These young Jews are the future of our Jewish community. We want our children and grandchildren to identify with Israel and feel proud of its accomplishments. Have we asked their thoughts and feelings when it comes to Israel? Are we interested in knowing how they feel about Israel and its role in this conflict? Are we afraid to be challenged about our long tradition of supporting Israel no matter what it does — and of not discussing our disagreements among ourselves and in public?
There are members of our Jewish community who believe that we need to stand by Israel and support it no matter what. Some feel that we should not discuss and especially not criticize Israel’s actions in public.
Some, who are worried about how Israel has been treating the Palestinian people and who speak up about their concerns, are often accused of being anti-Israel or of being self-hating Jews.
A perception of false unity may be more harmful than a painful discussion. An open dialogue is a sign of strength and maturity.
If we want our progressive and young Jews to feel welcomed to the Jewish community, we need invite them to enter the tent, but not just on our own terms. We need to ask them about what is important to them and, among other things, their feelings and concerns about the tragic struggle between Israel and what is likely to become Palestine.
One way to expand our Jewish tent is by beginning to have a respectful and honest dialogue regarding Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians, a respectful discourse that will include people on the right and on the left — and all that are in between.
We need to open our institutions to these discussions knowing that most of us want a safe, strong and democratic Jewish state in Israel.
We want the State of Israel to respect and honor human rights for all of its inhabitants, including Palestinians.
Most of us are united about this.
Yet we are not as united when it comes to our thoughts and feelings about certain Israeli governmental policies, and how Israel has been treating the Palestinians for the past 42 years.
The time to hear each other and engage in a dialogue is now — especially now.
As new voices begin to question the legitimacy of Israel’s right to exist, we, the American Jewish community, need to engage in a civil discussion: about what we support Israel for and about what may trouble us regarding certain policies and actions it has taken against the Palestinians.
Our diverse opinions are a sign of health and strength, and it is time that we engage is this timely exchange. We can have an honest discourse. All of us should embrace a commitment for a civil dialogue no matter how difficult what we hear may be. And it will be difficult and challenging.
Meshulam Plaves, who was born and raised in Israel, is a psychologist in Berkeley. He is a member of Kehilla Community Synagogue in Piedmont and a member of an East Bay Jewish-Palestinian dialogue group.