What to do?
Frantic that her 18-year-old daughter might be pregnant, a mother goes out and buys a pregnancy test kit. Sure enough, Fannie has been knocked up.
Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”
Without answering, the Fannie picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A man with gray hair and a yarmulke steps out and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother and Fannie and tells them, “Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
“Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami and a $1 million bank account.
“If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25 million bank account.
“However, if there is a miscarriage, I’m not sure what to do. What do you suggest?”
The mother, who had remained silent until now, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him, “So you’ll try again.”
The small portions
Aaron and his family are in the middle of their meal at Minky’s Deli when Aaron calls over the manager.
“I have a complaint to make,” Aaron says. “I haven’t eaten here for quite some time, and I notice that the portions you’re now serving are a lot smaller than they used to be.”
“That’s impossible sir,” the manager says. “You see, since you were last here, we’ve spent a lot of money enlarging the restaurant. So although the portion on your plate might appear to look smaller, it’s only an optical illusion.”
© david minkoff