A burning Bush

George W. Bush was stranded at an airport while he was out on the campaign trail. In the lounge, he spotted an old man sitting all by himself, who looked awfully familiar. So George W. approached the old man and said “Excuse me, sir, but aren’t you Moses?”

The old man looked at him, got up and walked away. George W. thought that was rather odd, but decided he mustn’t have been Moses, after all.

A little while later, George W. saw the same man in the restroom, and couldn’t overcome the feeling that he knew this man’s name was Moses. “Excuse me, sir, I’m sorry to bother you again, but are you sure your name is not Moses?” But the old man just walked away.

When the airline finally called the passengers to board the plane, George W. sees the man yet again, and decides to try one more time: “I’m so sorry to keep bothering you, but I can’t tell you how much you look like my friend Moses: are you SURE you’re not Moses?”

The old man heaved a sigh, and said, “Yes, my name is Moses, but the last time I spoke to a Bush, I was sent into the wilderness for 40 years. So please, leave me alone!”

Tickets, anyone?

Mr. and Mrs. Greenberg go out to see “The Producers” on stage. This is the most sold-out show of the year, and scalpers are retiring on this one.

Somehow, they’ve lucked into front row seats. But they notice that in the row behind them, there’s an empty seat. When intermission comes and no one has sat in that seat, Mrs. Greenberg turns to the woman sitting next to it and asks, “Pardon me, but this is such a sold-out show, and in such demand. We were wondering why that seat is empty.”

The woman says, “That’s my late husband’s seat.”

Mrs. Greenberg is horrified and apologizes for being so insensitive.

But a few minutes later, she turns around again.

“Without meaning to be rude or anything, this is an incredibly hard show to get into. Surely you must have a friend or a relative who would have wanted to come and see the show?”

The woman nods, but explains, “They’re all at the funeral.”