Cohen and O’Reilly

A man is walking along a street in New York and sees a little tailor’s shop named Cohen and O’Reilly.

He goes in and talks to the typical little Jewish tailor behind the counter, telling him how impressed he is that for once the Irish and the Jews, often at one another’s throats, have come together like this.

The little Jewish man seems unmoved.

“You sopprized by dis!?” he asks.

“Well, yes,” the man replies, still oozing enthusiasm. “I mean … Cohen and O’Reilly working together in the same shop. I mean … It’s different! It’s heartwarming!”

“Vell,” says the little Jewish tailor, “here’s annuder soprize for you … I’m O’Reilly!”

Mischievous brothers

There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them.

Hearing about a rabbi nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the rabbi to talk with the boys and he agreed.

The mother went to the rabbi and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent the younger to the rabbi.

The rabbi sat the boy down across his huge, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the rabbi pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, “Young man, where is God?”

The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing.

Again, louder, the rabbi pointed at the boy and asked, “Where is God?” Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing.

A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the rabbi leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy’s nose, and asked, “Young man, I ask you, where is God?”

The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, “We’re in bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble.”

The older boy asked, “What do you mean, ‘big trouble?'”

His brother replied, “I’m tellin’ ya’, we’re in big trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!!!”

The debt

It’s 3 a.m. and Sarah wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor.

“Paul, why can’t you sleep?” she asks. 

“You know our next door neighbor, Sam. I borrowed $1,000 from him, and it’s due tomorrow morning and I don’t have the money. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Paul replies.

Sarah gets out of bed and opens the window. “Sam,” she shouts, and several times more, “Sam, Sam.”

Finally a very groggy Sam opens the window opposite her and yells back, “What, what is it? It’s 3 a.m., what in the world do you want?”

Sarah says, “You know the $1,000 my husband owes you? He doesn’t have it.”

She then slams the window shut, turns to Paul and says, “Now you go to sleep, and let Sam pace the floor.”

These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.