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At the Democratic National Convention, where Vice President Harris formally accepted her party’s presidential nomination last week, a central theme of many speeches was the question of which candidate will fight for you — Kamala Harris, or Donald Trump? Throughout the week, Harris answered the question over and over: She will fight for your reproductive rights, for your national security and to lower your cost of living. 

This important question — who will fight for you? — becomes much more serious, even deadly, when confronting the leader of a nation at war, where more than 100 hostages remain captive in Gaza after a murderous rampage. 

The connection between the U.S. and Israel on this matter occurred to me during a virtual UnXeptable event, during which we heard from Carmit Palty Katzir. On Oct. 7, she saw her father murdered by Hamas in his home on Kibbutz Nir Oz, and her mother and brother abducted and taken hostage. In Carmit’s case, the question of whether Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will fight for her became personal, and ultimately fatal.

Her mother was returned as part of a deal, while her brother, Elad, was murdered sometime in January.

Carmit had met with Netanyahu repeatedly to plead with him to fight for her brother’s life.

Describing the high stakes of the meetings, which she attended with other members of hostage families, she said, “I wasn’t going to borrow a cup of milk from the neighbor. I was going to ask the prime minister to take responsibility for the lives of his citizens, for my brother’s life, for my mother’s life.” 

In the end, the prime minister did not secure a deal to return her brother in time; his body was recovered by Israeli forces in April.

We should approach the 2024 presidential election — and any election or political decision — as if we were in Carmit’s shoes, as if our lives and the lives of our family were on the line. We should ask ourselves: Who cares enough to do what it takes to save us? Who has the empathy to appreciate the fear and pain of the citizens they represent? Who is willing to pay a political price to save them? 

Who will fight for me and my family?

There is no easy ideological answer to these questions. In normal times, it is hard to know how a candidate will respond to the most difficult before they take office. But these are not normal times. 

Today in Israel we have a prime minister, and in the U.S. a presidential candidate, who each suffer from demonstrable narcissism. Netanyahu has been in power off and on for years, and Trump has already served a term in the White House. Their records in office show that they fight for themselves; they won’t fight for you.

We should know by now: It simply is not in the psychological makeup of either man to fight for you — or for anyone other than themselves.

In an Aug. 24 meeting between families of hostages and Netanyahu, recorded by an attendee, a family member stated plainly, “I want the hostages here.” The prime minister retorted flippantly, “And I’d like to walk to Italy in a straight line; so will I dry up the sea?”

His focus on himself to the exclusion of other considerations manifests itself in disastrous policy that has the country literally in flames. Prioritizing his political survival entails capitulating to the most extreme fever dreams of his messianic coalition partners.

Similarly, Trump sees others’ pain and sacrifice only through his own, self-absorbed lens. Whether it was describing partying at New York discos in the ’70s to Howard Stern as “his Vietnam,” calling fallen soldiers “suckers and losers” or instructing aides to keep visibly wounded veterans out of his sight, every position and decision is made through the filter of his own vanity and benefit.

These anecdotes show that both men lack any coherent ideology or commitment to the people of their respective countries. And they certainly lack an essential character trait required of leaders of a democracy: the ability and desire to step outside of themselves and fight for their constituents. 

Carmit Katzir needed a leader who could listen to her and save the lives of her loved ones. Her situation reinforces how seriously the ego of a country’s leader can affect human lives. In the case of an American presidential election, you should choose the candidate who will fight for you — because one day you might really need them to.