Timothy Healy grew up Catholic in the Bronx. In meeting and marrying Lulu Almaguer, he not only began practicing Judaism and gained a son, but found a new political party, too. Half-Puerto Rican and half-Irish, Healy is a self-described former “staunch Republican,” who proudly voted for President Obama in the last election.
Almaguer, a member of Congregation Or Shalom, is a master mixologist at two hotels, the Rosewood Sand Hill in Menlo Park and the Ritz-Carlton in San Francisco. In April 2011, she and her 13-year-old son, Xao, were browsing in a Borders bookstore, when they came upon a program that helps kids with literacy through the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons.
Xao took to the program so much that Almaguer, 50, began taking him regularly. Through playing D&D, he made friends with Healy, 41, who works the front desk at the Hotel California in Union Square, but enjoys D&D at Borders in his spare time.
This led to a friendship between the three of them, and they began spending time together — which included attending Occupy protests in the fall.
That November, Almaguer, who is divorced, asked Healy if he had Thanksgiving plans. He did not. She invited him, some friends and her mother, to dinner. Almaguer made an enormous amount of food, but one by one, her friends ended up canceling. Dinner ended up being just the four of them.
“I had never had so much food at a Thanksgiving before,” said Healy.
After Almaguer’s mother went home and Xao went to his room, Almaguer and Healy found themselves alone for perhaps the very first time. What came next was very “high school,” she said, but he corrected her, saying, “No, it was more middle school.”
It went something like this:
“I like you,” Healy said. To which Almaguer responded, “I like you, too.”
Healy began again. “No, I like you, like you.”
To which Almaguer responded, “I like you, like you too.”
“And then we weren’t friends anymore,” Healy said with a laugh.
Almaguer began bringing Healy to her synagogue. He was immediately impressed by how welcome he felt.
Neither remembers exactly when the engagement took place, but it happened at a friend’s house, after they had spent the afternoon appreciating the architecture of two local churches. When they told their friend they had been looking at churches, she immediately assumed they were wedding planning, and asked whether that was the case.
“I knew right there I wanted her to be my wife,” said Healy, and he figured that moment was as good a time as any. So he asked her.
At first, she didn’t think he was serious. When she realized he was, Almaguer told him he had to “come correct” and propose properly, using her full name and on bended knee. He complied.
They were married July 21 at the Sunnyside Conservatory in San Francisco. Their wedding was do-it-yourself in extreme: The bride made her own Victorian lace gown, with long train and veil; Healy wore a kilt, in deference to his Irish side. They decorated the ceremony space themselves, with numerous LED votive candles and a tulle chuppah held by twinkling cherry blossom branches.
They chose their wedding date to coincide with the Hebrew date of Tu B’Av, the “holiday of love.” Traditionally, women would run out into the fields to find their husbands, so the couple wanted the room to resemble a field with flowers and trees.
The men and women gathered separately first, as they do at traditional Jewish weddings. When the two groups came together, Rabbi Katie Mizrahi had Healy walk backwards toward his backward-facing bride, so their backs touched before they first saw each other as bride and groom.
Guests stood closely gathered around the chuppah for the ceremony.
When the couple exchanged rings, they recited a line from the Song of Songs, “I found the one who my soul loves.”
And while Xao knew he would be part of the wedding, he didn’t know exactly how. Healy took him formally as his son, offering him a ring with his Healy family crest. Mizrahi led Healy in a prayer that Jacob said over his son Joseph.
“That was really such a beautiful moment, because while we felt we were a family before, that made us a family in the eyes of God and that really meant to the world to [Xao],” said Almaguer.
Since Almaguer is Sephardic on her mother’s side, they played Sephardic music at the reception and ate paella for dinner.
As if the wedding wasn’t enough, the newlyweds received the greatest gift at the end of the evening.
Their synagogue’s board president approached them to say he was so inspired by their wedding, that he proposed to his partner of 30 years that same evening.
“Everything was already ‘wow,’ but that added an asterisk because it’s so awesome,” said Healy.
“That shows what the power of love can accomplish,” said Almaguer. “That was incredibly special for us, that our happiness should continue with someone else, like a ripple. It makes me happy for the world.”
Unions features a recently married couple with an interesting story. If you want to share your tale, or want to nominate a couple married within the last year, contact [email protected].