Even though she’s the featured speaker at an afternoon high tea for women, Marion Grodin hardly personifies prim and proper, though for years the “high” part suited her just fine.
The standup comedian better embodies the notorious Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times.” A former drug addict and alcoholic, the daughter of actor Charles Grodin has written a funny and painfully honest memoir, “Standing Up,” which dishes out all the messy details.
Marion Grodin will discuss her new book and its deeper message of hope at the Marin Jewish Women’s Afternoon “Chai” Tea on Jan. 12, at the Osher Marin JCC.
“I’m very forthcoming and transparent on stage,” says the 53-year-old Manhattan native, who now lives in Teaneck, N.J. “A lot of my message after 25 years of going to [12-step] meetings is that I believe in the power of truth-telling.”
Grodin’s comedy pokes fun at society’s unreasonable demands on women, especially regarding their bodies.
Her famous father, who starred in such films as “The Heartbreak Kid” and “Midnight Run,” was an undeniable influence both on her comedy and her values. Raised in an observant home, Charles Grodin passed along those Jewish values to his daughter.
“I’ve always been drawn to the robust good will, humor, love and warmth of Jewish people,” she says. “My father’s grandfather was a talmudic scholar, made Torah study humorous to the point people came from far and wide to hear him talk.”
Even more influential, however, was the Manhattan neighborhood in which Grodin grew up, exposing her to the demimonde that was the Upper West Side.
“I was in a climate where the guy around the corner was selling nickel bags of weed,” she remembers. “It was a different time: the iconic ‘60s. It was fantastic, deeply diverse, deeply permissive.”
As a child Grodin spent time on movie sets and hobnobbing with the glitterati of the day. As a teen she discovered drugs, and by her college days she had become a full-blown addict.
She struggled with that off and on for years, even as she made a name for herself as a Hollywood TV writer. She served on the staff of shows such as “It’s a Living,” and also sold a number of screenplays, none of which got produced.
Eventually Grodin realized her true calling — the comedy stage — and for the last 15 years she’s been at it, baring her soul and finding the humor in bad situations.
And she’s had her share.
She survived breast cancer and endured several miscarriages, as well as the breakup of her marriage. But all of it became fodder for comedy, both for the stage and her book. “It’s brutally vulnerable,” she says of her memoir. “That’s the goal: that you read it and know you’re not alone.”
She is especially trenchant when it comes to the double standard surrounding women’s body image issues, something she knows a lot about.
“I was anorexic when I was 13,” she relates, “so I was influenced by messages about body hate. We live in a severe climate not accepting of real women’s bodies or aging. Charles Manson is 80, with a swastika on his head, and he found a way to get laid by an attractive 20-year-old.”
These days, in addition to the standup circuit, Grodin mostly sticks to book promotion and motivational speaking. When not on the road, her favorite thing to do is cuddle up with her two cats and watch a “Law & Order” rerun, she says.
And though she doesn’t consider herself a religious Jew, Grodin has plenty of Jewish pride.
“I’m definitely in the tribe,” she says. “All my friends are either Jewish or gay or both.”
“Standing Up: A Memoir of a Funny (Not Always) Life” by Marion Grodin ($23, Center Street, 306 pages)
Marion Grodin will be at the Marin Jewish Women’s Afternoon “Chai” Tea, 3 p.m. Jan. 12, at the Osher Marin JCC, 200 N. San Pedro Road, San Rafael. $18. Free to members of co-sponsoring organizations. www.marinjcc.org. RSVP to [email protected]