The Misheloff family of Dublin started down a long, dark road 10 years ago.
On Friday, Jan. 30, 1989, 13-year-old Ilene Misheloff set out for ice skating practice after school and vanished.
Those committed to keeping alive the search and the hope for Ilene’s return gathered at Wells Intermediate School on Thursday of last week to walk the route she would have taken, down the darkened streets of her southern Alameda County community.
Bundled up against the chill night air and armed with green glow-sticks, about 100 people of all ages carried signs and formed a somber procession, walking about a mile from Wells to St. Raymond’s Church for a brief ceremony.
Fellow members of Temple Beth Sholom in San Leandro joined Ilene’s family, twin brother Brian, friends and other supporters to mark the 10th anniversary of her disappearance. The Misheloffs also have another son, Robert, now 25 and living in Southern California.
It was a good turnout.
Officer Michael Hart of the Dublin Police Department, himself a regular at the annual march, said the number of people who come depends on the weather and other factors, but, on the whole, “We still get a lot of support in Dublin.
“You see posters of Ilene on cars and in the windows of businesses all over town,” he said. “And we still get sightings from all over the country, though fewer every year, and every one is followed up on. Usually, we get in touch with the police department in the area of the sightings and fax them the bulletin. All we need is one good lead.”
“It’s been really hard,” said Madelyne Misheloff, Ilene’s mother. “It’s any parent’s worst nightmare, and I can’t believe we’ve lived it for 10 years. Hope is how we get through. Every day we tell ourselves that this is the day she’s coming home.”
Though Ilene would be 23 years old now, “in our minds,” said her mother, “she’s still 13.”
Ilene’s father, Michael Misheloff, also expressed hope and sadness. “It is awful just to have to mark the fact that it’s 10 years, and if anybody has any information about Ilene, or any other missing child, we hope they would contact the authorities and tell them what they know,” he said.
“In the meantime, we live with it day by day. You can’t give up hope.”
In “certain things,” he added, “you have to move on. But you do what you can to find your child.” Volunteers still come, fliers still get sent out and supporters still show up ever year for the memorial walk.
Beth Sholom Cantor Linda Hirschhorn, who knew Ilene briefly between the time of her bat mitzvah and her disappearance, has joined the procession every year. “We come to show our support for the family, and people who have known Ilene from the synagogue come and people from the community come, and we’ll be here as long as they want the support,” she said. “We hope to offer them support and the faith they need to continue the search.”
Among the few dozen supporters from Beth Sholom were Rabbi Harry Manhoff, who has been with the temple for a year and a half, and family friend Lydia Osias. She said the congregation also holds a Shabbat service in Ilene’s honor every year at this time, with “yellow ribbons on the bimah to remind people.”
During the brief service at St. Raymond’s, Manhoff presented the family with a small tree, in honor of Tu B’Shevat, in the hope that it would grow large enough to be made into a chuppah for Ilene when she returns. The assembly was entreated to “treasure each day,” and look to God for continued strength. Words of hope were sung and spoken.
Hugs and some tears followed Hirschhorn’s talk on the week’s Torah portion regarding Jews’ journey from Egyptian bondage. The passage, she said, reveals that sometimes we “have to go to a dark place, to take an unknown, perilous journey in order to leave the darkness. The Misheloffs have been on such a journey. The Jewish community tries to provide some light along the way.”
The ceremony also included a message from Dublin Mayor Guy Houston, remembering Ilene as “Dublin’s missing daughter.”
The Ilene Misheloff search fund is completely depleted, and her family has been using its own funds to continue search efforts. Any donations to the Misheloff Family Fund can be sent care of Temple Beth Sholom, 642 Dolores Ave., San Leandro, CA 94577.