Jewish women in their 40s and 50s often find little opportunity to meet and mingle with their peers.
But a new group at San Francisco’s Congregation Sherith Israel — a Jewish women’s connection for women 40 and over — is hoping to remedy that.
Funding for the group comes from the Koret synagogue initiative.
Their kickoff event, held earlier this month at Sherith Israel, was an interview and book-signing with the authors of “Women Who Broke all the Rules.” The writers, Susan Evans of San Francisco and Joan Avis of Berkeley, interviewed more than 100 baby boomer women for the book.
Sixty women, most in their 40s and 50s, gathered for the event, jointly sponsored by Sherith Israel and State of Israel Bonds’ women’s division.
Nancy Drapin, acting executive administrator at Sherith Israel, addressed the crowd, saying she had observed the way women in Sherith Israel’s leisure league, a networking group for seniors, supported each other.
“I thought, what about me? Apparently the need was there because we’ve had this wonderful response to this event.”
Event chair Ellen Benjamin interviewed Evans and Avis in an Oprah-style format.
The authors, both professors at University of San Francisco, characterized baby boomer women as part of a “transitional generation.”
Raised in a time when women married early and worked in female-dominated professions such as teaching or nursing, the boomers came of age when the rules were changing.
“I would venture to say that every woman in this room has broken at least one rule. As a generation, [baby boomers] ended up toppling a lot of structures,” said Avis.
While women of this generation might do something daring like moving to Mexico alone, they wouldn’t go to a bar or restaurant alone because “nice girls didn’t do that,” the authors said.
The advice these women got growing up was restrictive: “Don’t do anything. Don’t move,” Evans said.
“And marry well,” Avis added.
In their book, the authors transform old rules into new truths.
Old rule: Accept what you can’t change. New truth: Change what you can’t accept.
Old rule: Have your children when you’re young. New truth: Have your children before menopause.
After the talk, women made suggestions for future topics. Suggestions centered around educational events such as learning about women in the Bible, finances and meditation.
Response to the kickoff was positive. “It reminded me of the early days of being part of the women’s movement — women getting together to discuss common issues,” said Shauna Denkensohn, 44, who described herself as a “militant feminist” during her college years.
Denkensohn, who attended the event with her mother, is a member of Sherith Israel’s women’s Rosh Chodesh group, She, like others at the session, welcomed the opportunity to socialize with other Jewish women.
“There’s a bond that can’t be explained, that I feel with other Jewish women, that goes into my soul,” she said.
Drapin, who hopes the networking group will be a “kind of connective tissue,” agreed that there seems to be a special bond among the women.
“There’s a similar humor, similar mothers, similar family backgrounds,” she said.
“You don’t have to fill in the blanks. The commonality is provided for you,” explained Susan RoAne, 53, a business writer who peppers her work with Yiddish words.
“My aunt once told me, ‘Wherever you are, find out where the synagogue is and you’ll never be alone,'” said RoAne, who lives in Marin.
Lynn Ware of San Francisco, who runs a corporate training/management consulting company, identified with the women Evans and Avis interviewed.
“I feel like I am one of these women,” said Ware, 44. “I own my own business. I have a doctoral degree. I’m divorced, raising two children on my own. I’m a Jewish woman. I’m not supposed to have done any of these things.”