Here are suggestions for those who want to consider personalizing parts of their wedding ceremony or festivities.
*Chuppah. Synagogues often have a chuppah that couples can use and further decorate with flowers and greens. But some couples may want to consider creating their own chuppah or having one created just for them, that they can then use afterward in some way.
Couples, or some family members, can buy a square or rectangular piece of fabric, depending on the area they need to cover in the synagogue or hall they are using, and decorate it in ways that suit them. Techniques for decorating the fabric might include embroidery, applique, quilting, or painting.
Themes for decoration might include the couple’s names in English and/or Hebrew, the design from their invitation, favorite Biblical verses, favorite verses from poetry, scenes and objects that hold special meaning to them, symbols of Jewish life and the Jewish calendar. Afterward, the chuppah, or the decorated section, can become a unique wall hanging.
Tallit weaver Phyllis Schatz will take two tallitot and create a chuppah from them. She can weave them together in such a way that they can come apart to be used by the couple in synagogue or be given to the couple’s children at an appropriate time.
Schatz can even use bits of fabric from objects that have special meaning for the couple in her design, such as lace from a mother’s or grandmother’s dress, or a piece of a worn tallit that belonged to a grandfather or great-grandfather.
*Ketubot. Having an artist prepare the ketubah, the traditional Jewish wedding document, is one long-established way to personalize a part of the wedding ceremonies. A calligrapher can produce a one-of-a-kind document or take an established pattern and personalize it.
Calligraphers usually meet with the couple for one or more sessions to determine the style bride and groom prefer, the colors, the design elements and the motifs.
Kebutah artist Marilyn Belford shows couples illustrations from certain volumes she has collected to help them narrow down their choices.
She has them choose a general style — Rococo, ancient or modern. She also asks about themes or objects that have special meaning to one of the partners, or both, that might be incorporated into the design. One couple wanted a scene of sheep grazing in a Jerusalem landscape. Another wanted musical motifs woven into the design.
Often such personal, artistic ketubot are displayed during the wedding festivities and then framed and hung in the couple’s home.
*Something borrowed. Sometimes what it takes to personalize a wedding isn’t a new idea at all. Look to your parents, grandparents, special relatives or friends for ideas from the past.
Many of today’s couples cherish the thought of wearing antique clothing or family heirlooms. But remember, World War II-era brides, faced with limited availability and selection, often borrowed clothing for their attendants as well as themselves.
Vintage photographs can be a source for ideas to personalize your wedding. Examine a favorite photo of your parents’ wedding and see what you admire the most. Maybe it was the stained glass window in the background, the elegant staircase they were standing on, or the special pose using grandma’s best parlor chairs. These photo ideas can create a very personal, sentimental remembrance of your wedding day.
*Wedding programs. Programs have grown in popularity probably because people enjoy knowing who is marching down the aisle with whom and how they are related to the principals.
Beyond supplying this information, the programs also are a good way to make non-Jewish guests feel more at ease by explaining the basics of what is going on and why.
In addition, they also can make Jewish guests feel more in the loop, especially if parts of the ceremony are unusual or are more traditional than some people are familiar with. Brief explanations can be provided of all elements or specific elements of the festivities.
*Photographs. Photos can be the key ingredient in centerpieces, or you can place photo collages on easels.
Parents of the bride and groom can have fun choosing the photos. Start with baby photos and work your way up to photos of the couple leading up to their engagement. The best man and maid of honor can help provide the more recent photos of the couple, if the parents do not have them.
Choose photos that will have meaning to as many people as possible. Mix in some cute photos to keep the mood from becoming too heavy, but avoid the embarrassing photos. Get a sense of what the bride and groom will tolerate. If there is any doubt, get them to approve the photo in advance.