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Chayei Sarah
Genesis 23:1-25:18
The majority of this week’s Torah portion recounts the odyssey to find an appropriate wife for Isaac. Abraham sends his loyal servant, Eliezer, back east to his family to find someone for Isaac to marry. It seems that Abraham had a particular girl in mind for his son.
He commands Eliezer not to take a local girl but to travel back to Haran, to his family, and find a wife from there. (Genesis 24:4) He is so adamant that he requires an oath from Eliezer. (Genesis 24:9) What in particular is Abraham so fixated on that he demanded that the girl come from his very own family?
In order to answer this question, we need to be reminded of the seminal story of Abraham’s family. At the end of Parashat Noach, we are introduced to Abram. “These are the descendants of Terach: Terach fathered Abram, Nahor, and Haran, and Haran fathered Lot. Haran died before his father Terach in his native land, in Ur Casdim.” (Genesis 11:27-28)
There is a famous Midrash that Rashi, the foremost medieval commentator, brings to these verses: Terach had an idol store, and he asked Abram to watch the idols. Abram was convinced that the idols were useless and that there must be a unitary Creator of everything. Abram smashed the idols with an ax and then placed the ax in the hands of the largest idol. When Terach returned to find all of his idols destroyed he demanded to know what happened. Abram pointed to the large idol with the ax and claimed that a huge fight broke out and the strongest idol survived.
Terach was incensed and brought his son to the ruling authority of the day: Nimrod. Upon hearing Abram’s idea of monotheism, Nimrod had Abram thrown into a furnace. Rashi suggests that the place Ur Casdim is named for that furnace (“ur” means fire). G-d saved Abram, and then Nimrod questioned his brothers. Nahor was quick to side with the idol worshippers. Haran had been undecided in his beliefs, but when he saw Abram survive the furnace he chose to stand with him. Nimrod had Haran thrown into the fire, and he didn’t survive. (Bereshit Rabbah 38:13)
The Torah continues the account by telling us that Abram and Nahor both took wives. In fact, they both married their nieces, the daughters of Haran. Abram was the first to marry because he felt responsible and wanted to establish a legacy for Haran, his deceased brother. Nahor saw and felt that he should do the same. He married Milcah, the daughter of Haran. They eventually had a granddaughter. Abraham wants his son to marry that granddaughter. The product of a relationship that is based on an act of kindness is who he wants as a life partner for Isaac, who is also the offspring of such a union.
The Torah actually hints quite strongly that Rebecca is chosen because of her lineage. In fact, Rebecca introduces herself as the “daughter of Betuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor.” (Genesis 24:24) In fact, this is the only account of an individual identifying herself with reference to her grandmother. Families are usually listed according to the patriarchs. Milcah is the only matriarch who is mentioned with reference to the lineage of a grandchild. The reason that Milcah is so crucial to the ancestry of Rebecca is because she represents that great act of chesed (kindness) that was done in memory of her father.
Eliezer has his own way of finding the right person for Isaac. He is also looking for chesed but not the chesed found in Rebecca’s background. He is looking for her own act of benevolence. In fact, he asks G-d to make his job easy so that when Eliezer would say, “Let me drink,” the young woman designed for Isaac would reply, “Drink and I will also give water to your camels.” (Genesis 24:14)
He understands that this is the exemplary quality necessary for building the next Jewish family.
We have recently experienced a series of horrific terror attacks against Israel and the Jewish people. The leaders of Hamas are not only responsible for the killing of our people. They are also responsible for the lack of humane and civilized conditions in the Gaza Strip. When the Jews were in displaced persons camps in Europe after the Holocaust, the first priority of the Jewish community around the world was to resettle them and allow them to build new lives.
For many decades, the resources that should have been directed to doing the same for Palestinians were diverted to create terror tunnels and to purchase weapons of destruction. When tens of thousands of Jews from Arab lands needed to be absorbed, when tens of thousands of Ethiopian Jews needed to be settled, when tens of thousands of Jews from Yemen needed to be airlifted, Israel and the global Jewish community took responsibility to make that happen. The chesed was incredible.
Today we are also witnessing Jewish communities absorbing strangers, raising funds and supplies, and making chesed their first priority. It is embedded in the DNA of the Jewish people. Our patriarchs and matriarchs came from a place of chesed and continued to demonstrate that quality over and over again. We should be very proud to be their children and to be the ones to continue that great legacy.