CHICAGO — When her husband walks through the door to their apartment one evening, Miriam Bromberg pours him a tall glass of diet Dr. Pepper. She doesn’t have to ask. She knows Mark’s taste and he knows hers.
Everyone has searched or is still searching for that special person who remembers the little details. Everyone thirsts for that glass of diet Dr. Pepper, but after three years of marital bliss and with a baby on the way, the Brombergs thirst no more.
They have a dear friend named Sue Price Cohen and a little newsprint to thank for their happy union. In the summer of 1996, Cohen wrote and ran four personal ads in the Chicago Reader — three ads for three of her girlfriends (including Miriam) and one for herself. When Cohen informed Miriam of her deed, Miriam was less than thrilled. But after 30 responses from eligible Jewish men, she sang a very different tune.
Shortly after Miriam’s ad first ran, Mark called her up for a date. He, too, had been the target of a surprise personal ad placed by friends. “If nothing else, at least we have one thing in common,” Mark told Miriam at the time.
“We have friends that take way too intrusive a role in our personal lives.” On their first date, Miriam’s mascara streaked her face because she laughed so hard. They haven’t stopped laughing since, she says.
The Jewish personals, both online and in good old-fashioned newsprint form, have become a reputable way for Jews to meet one another. Losing the old stigma that personal ads are used only as a last resort for people who can’t find dates, they are now seen as just one of many ways for busy Jewish singles to meet each other.
Paul Polivka of MicroVoice, a service responsible for 8,000 personal ads placed in 300 newspapers each week, including the Jewish Bulletin, says the personals work particularly well in the Jewish community because the ad writers can put their Jewishness right out on the table.
“What’s nice about it is that Jewish people can come to this site and just look for Jewish people,” Polivka said.
While more revenue is still earned on the print side of the personals, through 900 telephone numbers, Polivka says that online personals are creeping up in popularity.
Online, eligible Jews can custom-build their personal ads to reflect their Jewish background. JDate, an online Jewish personals service, asks users to point and click their way through questions about their Jewish affiliation, frequency of synagogue attendance, and whether or not they keep kosher.
The Jewish Community’s Matchmaker, on America Online at Keyword: Jewish singles, asks similar questions. In addition, Jewish.com/personals, on the Web, offers free listings.
Ad coordinators advise using a personals service only if one is serious about following through. “Personal ads are really a great outlet insofar as you have committed yourself to the process of it,” said Chicago Reader matches coordinator Mike Beaumier.
You have to actually sit down, put pen to paper or something on your computer and commit to saying who you are, what you have to offer and what you are looking for.”
And when it comes time to put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard, the experts offer lots of advice:
Be honest. For instance, don’t say you’re 6-foot-1 if you’re 5-foot-5. The truth will surface eventually.
Avoid laundry lists of attributes and try a little innovation instead. One man held forth about his capital punishment stance throughout his entire ad. Nearly 50 women inundated him with phone calls.
Prolific personals writer Cohen –who has written half a dozen ads for her friends — says creativity is essential. “Everyone likes fine dining, traveling and walking on the lakefront,” Cohen said. “Have a friend read over your ad and add something unusual, something topical, something that will catch their eye.”
If Cohen were to write a personals ad today, she might throw in something about the hit show “Survivor.”
Cohen also adds that it’s vital to have a thick skin. She recalls horror dates stemming from personals. A woman, for example, approaches a man on a blind date and says, “Are you Bob?” If she doesn’t like what she sees, she’ll cut the date short and simply walk away.
Don’t expect too much, Cohen warns. You aren’t necessarily going to meet your spouse through the personals, but you may meet people you might not otherwise encounter. Judy, from Chicago, has used a number of Jewish personal services including JDate. “I looked at it as, I’m going to go out, I’m going to have fun, and if something comes of it…great. If not, then I’ve still had a good time.”
Above all, be safe. Coordinators urge their clients to be cautious about the information they give to potential matches, to meet in a public place on the first date and to always exercise common sense.
Since Cohen ran the ads for herself and her friends, all have married, and three of the four women met their husbands through their ads.
They each have found their beshert and thirst no more.