When Alan Slepoy arrived in Vienna from the Soviet Union in 1979, an official from Israel’s Jewish Agency noticed his final destination was the United States, and asked him why he wasn’t headed for the Jewish state. Slepoy, already bewildered by his first moments out of reach of the KGB, shrugged his shoulders and deflected the question.
“Who knows?” said the then-43-year-old father of two. “Maybe we’ll all end up in Israel one day.”
The Israeli’s reply was quick in coming. “Great. We’ll do all the work building the country, defending it and getting everything all set up for you, and then you’ll come?”
Now, some 23 years later, Slepoy acknowledges the Israeli may have been right. Perhaps he should have gone to Israel. “Sixty thousand Russian Jews live in the Bay Area, but you would never know it from the attitude of the establishment.”
Slepoy and wife Anna were two of the six not-so-recent ex-Soviet emigres to attend a meeting Sunday hosted by Irving Golden, the president of B’nai B’rith San Francisco Local 21. The small but vocal group voiced frustration at the lack of acceptance many emigres say they run into from the established Jewish community.
While Golden said he’d hoped more people would show up for the session, he believed it was a good first step. “We’ve been hearing for some time that the Russian community feels neglected. I just wanted to give these people a forum to voice their opinions and hopefully start to bridge whatever gaps exist between our American-born and immigrant Jewish communities.”
Golden moderated a two-hour roundtable discussion, challenging those present to take an active role in Jewish organizations and communal life, and not to retreat into Russian-only enclaves.
“Individually, you and I have no power to stand up for Jewish rights, to combat anti-Semitism, or even to influence the internal goings-on of the Jewish community,” said the 76-year old San Francisco resident. “When we work together, suddenly we have a strong voice.”
Another issue of concern to the group is intermarriage, though not in the traditionally discussed context of interfaith marriage. Software engineer Yefim Kantorovich said that during his seven years in America, he has only heard of one American-Russian marriage. Most agreed with his assessment that “it’s a sign that we’re not being accepted.”
While sympathetic to their concerns, Golden said B’nai B’rith considered all Jews equal. He invited everyone to make their presence felt. Golden said an influx of fresh faces is desperately needed in an organization whose 300-plus membership is rapidly aging. A new generation, he said, must step forward to assume the mantle of leadership if community organizations are to survive.
Golden also wanted to know what more could be done for the immigrant community. At the same time, however, he noted that local individuals and organizations had put up thousands of dollars to help Jews leave the former Soviet Union, providing them with housing and job placement services, and even given English lessons to those who lacked a basic command of the language.
Kantorovich said he was grateful for the assistance he’d received upon arriving in the United States from Minsk in 1995, but he suggested that behind all the money is a fundamental lack of understanding of the absorption process.
“You must understand, a Russian immigrant arrives in this country like a newborn baby — totally dependent. You must hold his hand and guide him through every minor detail of life here.
“As time goes on, the baby grows and eventually doesn’t need quite the same round-the-clock attention. But even older children need parental help and guidance to learn how to survive on their own. Right now, after seven years, I would compare myself to a 15-year-old boy, able to get by on my own but still in need of considerable parental involvement.”
By the end of the meeting, most of the emigres agreed it had been positive and said they wanted to work together to “close the gap” between American and Russian-born Jews. Golden promised to add their names to the B’nai B’rith mailing list, and pledged his organization would do all it could to include Bay Area Jews of all stripes.