Chaye Sarah
Genesis 23:1-25:18
Kings 1:1-31
For many years I have prided myself in being a person who was at ease with aging. Having worked with many people as they faced the end of their own lives, I have learned that every stage of life presents wonderful opportunities for growth, beauty and holiness. I felt that I was getting better with each passing year. When my kids tease me about being old, I tease back about being wise.
But this year, as I have turned 49 and many of my friends are turning 50, I feel my equanimity in the face of aging is a bit shaken. It was one thing to be philosophical about aging when I was 30 or 40, as yet untouched by my own health challenges or physical diminishments. I still feel certain that I will get wiser as I age, but I am learning how bad it feels when my body fails me, even slightly. And the reality that I may have already lived more than half of my allotted years is sobering indeed.
Parashat Chaye Sarah (curiously named “The Life of Sarah”) begins with the death of Sarah. The text tells us that Sarah lived for 127 years, but it spells out the number in the following curious way: “Sarah’s lifetime came to one hundred years and twenty years and seven years — the span of her life.” (Genesis 23:1) It is immediately clear that the commentators have two problems in the text to deal with: Why the apparent repetition (“Sarah’s lifetime” and “the span of her life” in English, but the identical words in Hebrew) in the verse? And why is the number of years spelled out in such an expansive way?
In seeking to find some meaning in the apparently superfluous words in the text, the commentators produce a wealth of insight about the nature of aging — Sarah’s and our own.
Rashi, the medieval French commentator, ingenuously suggests that the repetition of the words chaye Sarah (“lifetime” and “lifespan”) comes to teach that “all of her years were equally good.” In his characteristically laconic style, Rashi leaves us to puzzle over his words. In the 19th century, the Sefat Emet articulates the question: How could Rashi say this? After all, every human life contains many ups and downs, times of triumph and times of great challenge, particular joys of youth and particular satisfactions of old age.
“But perfectly righteous people find wholeness in all of their days. This obviously does not come naturally, but by the gift of God. And this is the meaning of the verse, ‘God blessed Abraham in all things’ (Gen. 24:1) — referring to the wholeness that he was able to find in every place and time. And this is the meaning of [Rashi’s comment] ‘All of her years were equally good.'” (Quoted in Itturei Torah, vol. 1, p. 174)
For the Sefat Emet, Rashi’s comment suggests that Sarah’s life was remarkable in her ability to ride the storms of life with equanimity, finding holiness in every moment and infusing every day with meaning, so that there were no “good times” and “bad times,” only times of blessing.
Other commentators, such as Tsvi Yisrael, expound on the verse: “Human life is finite and limited, and our years come and go. But the righteous, through their deeds and their soul-qualities, introduce eternity into their days, so that the days of their lives become boundless” (Itturei Torah, vol. 1, p. 174).
I find in these commentaries a rich and hopeful teaching about aging, and about life itself. Perhaps our commentators idealize the lives of righteous people; or perhaps these things are true only of a few saintly souls in each generation. But I think there is truth here for us regular people, too, as we make our way through our years. We are urged to cultivate equanimity as we encounter the constant change and challenge of which our lives are made. We are asked to see the gifts in every moment, sensing an underlying wholeness in the apparent disorder of life. And we are assured that when we ground our lives in meaning, our finite and troubled years will seem perfect and boundless, infused with eternity.
May the Torah that we study, the deeds in which we engage and the way of living that we cultivate bless our lives with wholeness and beauty.
Rabbi Amy Eilberg, a Conservative rabbi, is a spiritual counselor in private practice.