Quakers and Jews
There once was a small Jewish population in an area dominated by Quakers. The Jews there had their own synagogue, and they found their Quaker neighbors to be friendly. All in all, the two populations got on very well.
One summer, there was a terrible fire and the synagogue was burned to the ground. The Jews were devastated and began raising money to build a new synagogue. The Quakers quickly saw their plight and also decided to lend a hand. They got together and had a meeting, deciding that until the new synagogue could be built, the Jews should be able to pray in their church on Friday nights and Saturdays, since the the Quakers only needed the church on Sundays. Furthermore, all funds placed in the charity box would go toward the rebuilding of the synagogue.
While the synagogue was being rebuilt, the Jews prayed in the Quaker church on their Sabbath and the Quakers on theirs. As the months rolled by, the funds rolled in and the synagogue came closer and closer to completion.
The whole community was outside the new synagogue for the grand re-opening. Everyone was congratulating each other as the rabbi went into the synagogue, and walked up to the bimah. He then had the synagogue president open the doors for his congregants to enter.
After a few minutes, the stream of people stopped, and the president went up to the bimah to inform the rabbi that everyone had been seated and that the services could begin. The rabbi looked around and noticed something strange. He mentioned to the president that there seemed to be several, if not many, congregants missing. To this, the president replied: … “I hate to tell you this, rabbi, but you should know that some of your best Jews are Friends!”
Rabbinical psychotherapy
Aaron Friedmann had some problems associated with sleeping, so he went to visit Dr. Freud
“Oh, Herr Doktor, when I want to sleep, a lot of animals, tigers, elephants, panthers and giraffes, go up and down under my bed”.
“This is terrible,” Freud said. “You have to begin a long, long therapy.”
The time goes by — one, two, three, four months. Friedmann cannot sleep. When he wants to sleep, millions of animals, panthers and elephants, go up and down under his bed.
Freud is incensed. He uses every sort of therapy: hypnotism, conversation, but nothing helps.
Friedmann abandons Freud.
The time goes by — one, two, three months — till Freud runs into Friedmann at the library.
“Mr. Friedmann,” Freud says, “you are crazy! You abandoned therapy. This is very dangerous. Where have you gone?”
“Oh Herr Doktor, I’m so happy. I have no more problems. I have just got married.”
“But your problems … what happened?”
“When I abandoned you, I went to my rabbi’s house. I said ‘Oh rabbi, I’m deranged. When I want to sleep, elephants, panthers, giraffes and millions of animals go up and down under my bed.'”
“What did the rabbi do?”
“He touched his white beard and remained silent. Then the rabbi said, ‘Do you know what you can do? Cut the legs off your bed.’ I have had no more problems.”
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