Even before Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s recent coups for his state, approximately 300 companies in California had been doing business successfully in both Israel and America. Nevertheless, the Israelis and Americans working together typically harbor judgments, stereotypes and frustrations with each other that can interfere with teamwork and affect their profitability.
As an ardent Zionist, this pains me. As a linguist and consultant, I know it’s mostly just a matter of style. Alas, our Northern California patterns are arguably the American speech behaviors furthest from those of the Israelis. As a result, to a mellow Californian Israelis can seem “rude,” “pushy” and “arrogant,” while to the Type A Israeli a San Franciscan appears “slow,” “phony” and “vague.”
A project manager in a telecommunications company in Silicon Valley whom I was advising complained, “He doesn’t listen!” about Yossi, his Israeli counterpart. “He conducts conversations on his cell phone at meetings and breaks into Hebrew with his friends.”
Meanwhile, another Israeli, Gaby, was becoming exasperated at being showered with compliments all followed by a “but.” Finally, he broke in loudly: “So — do you like the idea or not?” His addressee was taken aback. He was just trying to soften his criticism, California-style, and avoid hurting Gaby’s feelings.
Who’s right? It’s all in the eye (culture) of the beholder. Members of the same group see nothing wrong with the behavior the other group finds so objectionable. The problem arises when they view the other through their own lens. In my work to narrow the culture gap, I see repeatedly that animosity dissipates once the American realizes it’s simply a cultural difference and the Israeli was not being intentionally rude toward him.
Then, through a series of seminars and trainings, the myriad other differences between American and Israeli management and communication styles can be addressed. In one segment, participants learn how the differences are deeply rooted in the societies. Unlike most Californians, the Israeli comes from a tiny, embattled nation where everyone is closely connected to everyone else. “All the people of Israel are friends” is the national motto. A CEO and janitor could well have been in the same army unit. As a result, Israelis tend to dispense with the niceties and are impatient with bureaucratic procedure. They characteristically take liberties like Yossi did — answering a cell phone or interrupting — that we would take only with family or close friends, never with strangers.
In other words, the same behavior a Californian finds rude and distancing is bonding for the Israeli. The Californian, who guards his personal boundaries zealously, instead uses polite expressions like “Have a nice day” to forge his type of bond. These seem horribly insincere and only turn off the straight-talking Israeli. You could say, à la John Gray, that Israelis are from Mars and Californians are from Venus.
Ultimately, my clients stop jumping to conclusions about each other’s attitudes. They don’t get hurt or impatient anymore. There are fewer misunderstandings. The number of e-mail “flame wars” decreases. Then, the underlying California-Israel synergy is released. They can appreciate and leverage each other’s strengths. The whole company benefits.
I often observe that personalities change as well. Some Israelis soften up a bit. And the Americans role-play Israeli techniques. One Californian suddenly realized the implication of what I was saying. “You mean they’d prefer that I wasn’t polite?” she asked me. “Yes,” an Israeli answered her. “Well, then, shut up!” she responded. The entire room broke into laughter. The healing was under way.
Jane Falk, a Berkeley American-Israeli, can be reached at [email protected].
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