Cheating on his diet
An elderly man, observant his whole life, finally decides to fulfill his lifelong fantasy— to taste pork. He goes to a restaurant near the Catskills in the off-season (not his usual one, mind you), enters the empty dining hall and sits down at a table far in the corner. The waiter arrives, and the man orders roast suckling pig.
As he is waiting, struggling with his conscience, a family from his congregation walks in.
They immediately see the man and, since no one should eat alone, they join him. Shocked, the man begins to sweat. At last, the waiter arrives with a huge domed platter. He lifts the lid to reveal— what else?— roast suckling pig.
“This place is amazing!” cries the man. “You order a baked apple, and look what you get!”
Combating solitude
A new forestry graduate receives his first posting way out in the middle of a huge forest with no people around for miles.
Included in the survival gear that he’s given, much to his surprise, is a recipe for matzah balls.
When he asks why he’s receiving a matzah ball recipe, he is told, “Sometime, a few years down the road when the solitude really starts to get to you, you’re going to remember your matzah ball recipe. You’re going to get it out and start making some and before you know it you’re going to have 10 Jewish women looking over your shoulder saying, ‘That’s not the correct way to make matzah balls.'”
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