Ellen Kahn, an estate planner at the San Francisco firm Sideman & Bancroft LLP, doesn’t get many clients who request ethical wills.
Instead, she recommends them to clients “who would find it a meaningful undertaking” and for Kahn, that means just about anyone.
“I would say everyone should have one. More introspective and emotional individuals would find this to be appealing,” Kahn says. “Men do this just as much as women.”
Kahn encourages her clients, who come to her to plan the endowment and distribution of their assets to their families, to take stock of their values on all levels, not just material and financial.
“It puts a texture and a character to family, so you know what they cared about. It’s an extraordinary gift. I think it goes beyond money.
“An ethical will goes above and beyond transfer of assets. It is the transfer of values, the transfer of stories … to successor generations about what was meaningful in the life of the person conveying the message.”
Although Kahn cites the ethical will as a Jewish tradition dating back to biblical times — to the 11th and 12th centuries, and all the way through the Holocaust, with “things written on sheets” — she insists the ethical will “surpasses religious and cultural connections.”
“It’s an individual connection with one’s children,” says Kahn, who adds that she recommends ethical wills equally for Jewish clients as well as non-Jewish ones.
“I just put it in the context of ‘this is a fabulous thing to do for your kids.’ But it’s not a religious tradition, it just comes out of it.”
In the process of estate planning, Kahn engages her clients in conversation. She says she gets to know them in this context, and learns about not only their assets but “what they care about in terms of philanthropy; how their children will use their wealth.”
And the advantage of an ethical will?
“To be the recipient of a message from a parent that’s deeply compelling and life-affirming,” enthuses a heartfelt Kahn, wife of the Bay Area Jewish Community Relations Council executive director, Rabbi Doug Kahn.
“I had a client diagnosed with cancer and given a very short time to live. She made a short video that was very meaningful to her family. I’ve had other clients who’ve written beautiful messages. One who had given [unique] things to [specific members of] her family and explained why each item was important and a life lesson she would hope they would get from that asset.”
She says one good resource for creating an ethical will is “So That Your Values Live On: Ethical Wills and How to Prepare Them,” by Jack Riemer and Nathaniel Stampfer, Jewish Lights Publishing (1991). The book discusses the Jewish connection as well as providing a hands-on guide.