When Pjotr and Eszter, the protagonists of “A Miracle in Cracow,” realize they can both communicate in Hungarian, it’s not just a relief for the film characters. Up until that point actress Eszter Bíró had been mounting a serious challenge to Joey Lauren Adams in “Chasing Amy” for top honors in the “Fran Drescher Memorial Most Annoying Female Voice Award.”
Bíró’s Hungarian was a welcome relief after bursts of rapidly spoken English resembling the maddening pitter-patter of Gilda Radner’s Emily Litella character.
To that point, Bíró had almost single-handedly sunk the movie. Unfortunately, it proceeds to go belly-up anyway, even after the female lead’s voice ceases to induce dogs to bolt from the room.
When an American reacts badly to a European film and its nuances and deliberate pacing, he or she always has to think, “Is there a cultural difference of tastes here or is it simply a bad film?” Well, I happen to bring a European with me wherever I go, and I can assure you that “A Miracle in Cracow,” which shows Wednesday, June 28 at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, is simply a bad film.
And it’s a shame, too, because “Cracow” isn’t bad across the board. Other than Bíró, the actors come off notably well. The scenery in the Polish city’s Jewish quarter is powerfully beautiful and the music is great. There are quality ingredients being whipped into this soufflé — and yet, it was never cooked, and remains runny, raw and inedible (or unwatchable, depending on how far you carry this metaphor).
The story begins with young Pjotr and his grandmother tracking down texts looted from his great-grandfather’s library by the Nazis. They search in vain for the “Silver Crown,” a mystical scroll that a rabbi named Levi supposedly once utilized to resurrect people.
Fast-forwarding about 15 years: Pjotr is a sullen Jewish bookstore employee in Cracow when in walks Eszter, a stunning Mediterranean beauty (but that voice!) with the Silver Crown in tow.
Pjotr steals the book before being chased down by Eszter, but not before spending time with a fire-eating circus performer whose English is every bit as annoying as hers (thankfully, though, he never talked with his mouth full). Eszter inexplicably befriends Pjotr, who attempts to have the possibly real and possibly imaginary Rabbi Levi resurrect his granny.
Confused? You will be. In addition to mixing reality and fantasy, young Hungarian director Diana Groó has a very shaky touch on transitions — it takes a good 40 minutes to realize that the skulking Pjotr character is actually the child from the first scenes in the movie, for example. Coupled with a surreal storyline, this kind of clunkiness is fatal, and nothing goes well with actors whose delivery in English is borderline adult film-level.
One last bit of criticism (because any more would be piling on): Why pretend these characters are 20 and 25 years old? Women that age don’t have laugh lines and 25-year-old men don’t sport the “I’m combing my hair forward because it’s not physically possible to comb it back” haircut.
The closest thing to a miracle in “A Miracle in Cracow” is its 90-odd minute running time. And if Rabbi Levi can indeed raise the dead, perhaps he should have been brought in as a script consultant.
The Jewish Film Festival presents “A Miracle in Cracow” 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, June 28 at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission St., S.F. Tickets: $7 general, $6 for students, seniors and YBCA members. Information: (415) 978-2787.