Myra Strober walked in the Torah processional at her bat mitzvah carrying her 2-year-old grandchild. Two more grandchildren were by her side, and on the bimah at Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos, her husband presented the Torah for her reading.
“It was one of the most moving times in my life. At the first rehearsal, when I saw the Torah, I burst into tears. To be able to read what people wrote down thousands of years ago with such love and care was just incredible,” Strober said.
Strober, a professor of education and economics at Stanford University, did not have a bat mitzvah at age 13 because her Orthodox congregation did not consider b’nai mitzvahs a rite of passage for girls.
“The idea of reading from the Torah sounded so great to me. I was just furious when I was told I couldn’t have one; I stopped going to Hebrew school,” she said.
Strober took part in an intense, two-year program led by Cantor Kay Greenwald and teacher Orna Morad. Students studied Hebrew, liturgy, the meaning of the service and modern Jewish thought. During their b’nai mitzvahs, the adult students led the entire service without clergy, including songs and commentary on prayers. Each student read from the Torah and gave a speech.
“Many students don’t know any Hebrew before they begin the program. It is great to see how much is learned,” said Beth Am’s Rabbi Janet Marder. “Every year, people who attend the service are moved and participate in the next class.”
Congregations throughout the Bay Area are offering such classes for adults. The cantors and rabbis who lead these courses believe these programs strengthen their congregations. And the adults who participate tend to become active in their congregation, with many continuing their formal Jewish education. Greenwald said two of her students have even considered rabbinical school.
In Burlingame, Peninsula Temple Sholom’s Rabbi Kim Ettlinger created a class when she joined the congregation last June. Although the congregation had worked one-on-one with interested adults over the years, this was the first group class offered in a decade. Before she had the chance to advertise, the course was full.
On June 9, Ettlinger’s 11 students were called up to the bimah. Among those participating were the president and executive director of the congregation.
“The class has become a community for people, a chavurah. They have discussed continuing their study next year and want to keep the connection going,” she said.
Adults who choose this path do so for a variety of reasons and all at different ages. According to Ettlinger and Greenwald, many students are adult converts and women denied the opportunity as children. Some wish to be role models to their children or grandchildren, others were inspired by their children’s b’nai mitzvahs, and some want to relive the original experience.
At San Francisco Jewish Home’s Congregation L’Dor Va Dor, Rabbi Shelly Marder has worked with nine students to become b’nai mitzvah, all over the age of 90.
“It is really a statement about their identity, how much it means to them to be a part of the Jewish people,” Marder said.
For Karen Rau, the mother of two teens, bat mitzvahs were not part of her family tradition when she was growing up. So when she had children, Rau began to rethink her connection to religion. Years ago, at a Yom Kippur service with her young daughter, she decided to add a new Jewish tradition for her family every year.
Her first resolution was to have Shabbat dinners. Two years ago she became determined to have a bat mitzvah. She joined Beth Am’s adult b’nai mitzvah class and was a classmate of Strober’s.
Rau said having her bat mitzvah was “life-changing in many ways. I now understand how people pray and why, and what it means to them.”
Rau said she was pleased to see her children, ages 10 and 7, become interested in her studies. In fact, her daughter served as her Hebrew tutor.
“My children will be going through their b’nai mitzvahs over the next few years. I feel that I will be much more active about what they will be going through and will be able to explain to them why we do these things,” she said.
At Congregation Sherith Israel in San Francisco, Cantor Rita Glassman has been leading her congregation’s adult b’nai mitzvah program for the past three years.
“For adults, a b’nai mitzvah can be a very rich and inspiring experience. They have the opportunity to learn something in a more conscious way and apply it in their adult lives,” Glassman said. “It is a Jewish life-affirming experience.”
Glassman’s yearlong course focuses on Hebrew, spirituality, mysticism and the meaning behind holidays and prayers. They also learn how to make Shabbat in their home, how to study Torah reading, and the values of performing mitzvot.
“I tell my students, this is your year of higher Jewish consciousness,” she said.
Miriam Chase recently celebrated her adult bat mitzvah at Sherith Israel. “Going through the class, I felt that not only was I born a Jew, but that I had made a conscious effort to be a Jew,” she said.
Fellow student Lisa Erdberg agreed. “Reading from the Torah is a real connection. You get the sense this is a sort of chain of tradition you are carrying on.”