Giving up a houseful of familiar possessions to downsize can be more traumatic for older people than selling the home itself.
“Sometimes, it takes a whole year to make the move after the person realizes it’s time,” says Tracy Walter of Grossmont Gardens Retirement Community in La Mesa, near San Diego.
Even after they’ve made the decision, after they believe they’re committed to the idea of moving, Walter says, seniors can procrastinate over the disposal of cherished belongings. The old chair that rocked the babies, the dining room table around which the family celebrated a lifetime of holidays, the youngest child’s canopy bed.
But the sadness of moving often fades when people no longer feel so overwhelmed, says Staci Phillips, move-in coordinator at Hyatt’s La Jolla Village Towers in San Diego.
Initially, she says, people believe they can’t part with anything. “But once they get excited about their new life and start to picture where everything will go, they’re able to let go of material things.”
Phillips helps new residents measure their new apartment and their old furniture to determine what will fit. Otherwise, she says, “some people convince themselves that the walls are elastic.”
Ideally, she says, everything is set up when newcomers move in. At the very least, they need to have the basics for the bedroom, bath and kitchen. Here’s some advice from Phillips and other experts that might take some of the sting out of scaling down:
Most important, don’t wait until a crisis forces a move. Start early and take your time.
Weed through closets, drawers and the like ahead of time and start donating, consigning or giving away the things you don’t need.
Assess the significance of your possessions; decide if each piece serves a purpose or holds a special memory.
Decide if there’s room for each piece of furniture and whether each will match your new decor and lifestyle. Don’t bring the huge casserole or the special slicer and dicer if you’re tired of entertaining and want to relax.
Bring your favorite chair.
Consider replacing existing items with furniture that is easy to use, glides easily, doesn’t require stooping and has rounded edges.
If you can’t part with your knickknacks, bring them, and consider building display shelves to make the best use of space.
Store some things for a while to see if you really need or miss them.
Leave the throw rugs behind, as they’re safety hazards.
Look at color and space critically. If the walls in the new, smaller place are dark, hanging lots of things is going to feel claustrophobic.
Consider switching photographs to smaller frames or putting pictures in an album.
Return the kids’ keepsakes. Offer your children the things that they may be able to use or that have a special significance for the family.
Pat Very of Very Well Put, an organizing, packing and unpacking service, adds that this is a good time to organize your papers, eliminating outdated information, and to toss out all outdated medications.
In addition:
• Pack similar items together.
• Hand-carry your cash, checkbook, jewelry and important papers.
• Unload the most important box first and leave the rest for tomorrow. You might want to experience your new surroundings for a few days before hanging pictures and placing decorative items.
And finally, she says, hire someone if you need help.