tinton falls, n.j. | When Rabbi Sally J. Priesand completed 25 years as religious leader of Monmouth Reform Temple, the country’s first female rabbi assumed a new title.
Upon her retirement July 1, Priesand became rabbi emerita of the temple. “Retirement will be a major life change, that’s for sure,” said Priesand, who moved to a new residence at about the same time. “A new home and a career change are a lot to think about.”
But the pioneering rabbi is accustomed to life’s challenges. Nineteen years ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The cancer struck again 11 years ago. And three years ago, Priesand was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Although her health status is currently good, the bouts with illness took their toll.
She was able to continue working during her treatments for breast cancer, but the thyroid cancer treatments were more debilitating and forced her to take a three-month leave of absence.
However, Priesand turned some of life’s negative elements into positive ones. Her brush with illness made her more sensitive to the health of others and forced her to pay attention to her own health needs.
“Of course it affected my rabbinate,” Priesand said. “I became more sensitive and aware of the needs of others who were dealing with health crises. When congregants wanted to discuss a health issue, I really understood what they were talking about. I could relate on a personal level.”
And she could share some personal lessons.
“During my own recuperation, I became frustrated if I couldn’t do certain things,” said Priesand. “But the human body sends you messages and it’s important to pay attention. Rather than try to accomplish a lot of tasks during the day and become upset if I couldn’t complete them, I would get one task done in the morning and then feel better during the day for having accomplished something.”
She also developed a “worry rule” that she shares with others.
“If you need to worry about things, focus on it for 10 minutes every day,” Priesand said. “Then put it aside and move on. Repeat the process each day. It will help you understand that there are so many things we can’t control, but we can control our responses, attitudes and perceptions when faced with a serious issue.”
Priesand’s unprecedented path to the rabbinate began when she was a teenager in Cleveland. When she decided in 1962, at age 16, that she wanted to become a rabbi, she received a priceless gift from her parents.
“They gave me the courage to dare and to dream,” she said. “It was a gift beyond measure.”
Although she was later much heralded for her status as the country’s first female rabbi, Priesand had no intention of becoming a trailblazer.
“I didn’t follow this course to become a pioneer or to champion women’s rights,” she said. “I simply wanted to be a teacher of Judaism. That was my motivation.” When she began her rabbinical studies, there was no welcoming committee to greet her.
“When I arrived at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati in 1964, they didn’t take me very seriously at first,” she recalled. “Few people at the college paid much attention; they thought I came to marry a rabbi rather than be one.
“I was the only woman in my class — 35 men and me. There were no women on the faculty. Sometimes I felt the faculty held me to a higher standard, so I always tried to be better and do better than everyone else.”
She obtained the support of Nelson Glueck, the institute’s president, who favored the ordination of women. Eventually, she gained the support of most of her classmates, although some still openly resented her presence. When encountering those who opposed her ordination, she relied on her sense of humor when responding. “If someone argued with me, I politely thanked them for their opinion and walked away,” Priesand said. “No hysterics, no tears.”
She was ordained in June 1972 at HUC-JIR. In addition to bachelor and master of arts degrees in Hebrew letters, she also received a bachelor’s in English from the University of Cincinnati. In 1973, she was awarded an honorary doctor of humane letters degree from Florida International University and later, in 1997, she received an honorary doctor of divinity degree from HUC-JIR.
During her final year of school and during the first year of her rabbinate, Priesand became a serious communicator.
“People needed to see for themselves that I was human,” she laughed. “There were a lot of speaking engagements at synagogues all over the country, along with television appearances, media interviews and press conferences in airports.”
Priesand always wanted to be a congregational rabbi rather than an educator at a religious school or organization. But finding employment wasn’t easy; some synagogues refused to interview her, and others merely wanted to cash in on her notoriety, she said.
Eventually, Priesand arrived at Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in New York City, where, for seven years, she served as assistant rabbi and then as associate rabbi. However, she moved on when it became obvious that the congregation would never allow her, or any woman, to become its senior rabbi, she recalled.
From 1979 to 1981, she was affiliated with Temple Beth El in Elizabeth, N.J., on a part-time basis and also served as chaplain at Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan. She accepted these two positions because she was still unable to find a synagogue willing to accept a woman as its only rabbi.
And then she came to Monmouth Reform Temple.
“I became aware that the temple was looking for a rabbi and everything came together,” Priesand said. “My gender was not an issue: I became their rabbi, not their female rabbi. It all happened through beshert [fate].”
There have been changes within the Reform movement since Priesand became a rabbi. Women now make up a large percentage of rabbis and are the religious leaders at congregations all over the country, although they are still underrepresented in the largest pulpits. In addition, women now have prominent places on the faculties of rabbinical schools, she said.
The revolution she heralded in the pulpit has been felt in the other movements as well. The Reconstructionist movement ordained its first woman rabbi in 1977, and the first Conservative women were ordained in 1983.
Within Orthodoxy, women cannot be ordained, but a feminist movement seeking to expand roles for women within Orthodox synagogues and yeshivahs has taken hold in a number of communities.
One of Priesand’s proudest accomplishments as rabbi has been the creation of a social action committee at her synagogue that has tackled such issues as gun safety and awareness.
When time permits, she intends to establish a Monmouth County kollel, a center for adult Jewish study. She may do some lecturing and plans to expand her skills as a watercolorist.