Higher-ups in the Israeli army are gearing up to fight an enemy they’ve never formally faced before. They are looking at a war that is difficult to win, and even when the enemy is conquered, it can easily come back again and again.
What’s this new operation? “The Battle of the Bulge.”
Last week, the Israel Defense Force announced the launching of a project aimed at trimming down to regulation size all officers who weigh 242 pounds and more. The special diet and exercise program was revealed for the first time in the official army magazine, Bamahaneh.
Apparently, the higher a soldier climbs in the ranks, the more likely he is to have his rear end planted behind a desk, and the more likely that rear end is to expand.
Those who regularly watch Israel’s nightly news already know there is a weight problem in the army, and that the soldiers have been anything but consistent in battling the problem. The last chief of staff, Ehud Barak, was a classic example of the “accordion” syndrome. Israeli’s watched over the months as his uniform grew tighter. Suddenly his army discipline would kick in, gossip columns would report on his new starvation-diet regime and viewers would subsequently watch Barak shrink.
You’d think soldiers would be tough about such things, but the officers in the program quoted in Bamahaneh were on the whiny side. They often work irregular hours in unconventional locations, they complain.
So who can blame them for heading for the nearest shwarma stand for a meaty snack whenever they get the chance? And who has the time for exercise?
But despite their initial resistance, the program is working, according to the publication. The newly slimmed-down brass are effecting changes in the army kitchen, asking for healthier menus with less fried foods. And they have been requesting army-sponsored opportunities for exercise.
Perhaps the next step will be a follow-up program for former IDF bigshots whose entry into the Knesset brings on a tremendous expansion of more than just authority. Binyamin Ben-Eliezer? Ariel Sharon? Any takers?