Lee Friedlander has a fresh take on the old question of what defines Jewish movie humor.
“It’s annoying someone to the point where it’s funny,” the L.A.-based producer and director declares.
Lest there be any confusion, she’s describing one character exasperating another, not a film’s effect on the audience. So you can suppress those painful memories of Mel Brooks’ later movies.
Friedlander’s new film, “Out at the Wedding,” is an urban farce in which the spiraling chaos engulfs gay and straight, white and black, Jewish and not, Northern and Southern, and blonde and brunette characters. Can you spell “diversity?”
“Out at the Wedding” screens Friday, June 22 in frameline31, the San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival. A theatrical release is expected later this year.
Manhattanite Alex is engaged to Dana, the son of a Jewish mother and an African American father. The craziness begins when the neurotic Alex lets her beau believe that her entire family of Southerners is dead.
Then, at her sister’s South Carolina wedding, a rumor spreads that Alex is a lesbian. She decides not to deny it — better to be gay than to have a black fiancé, right? — and in no time both families are swimming in a gumbo of misperceptions.
“This whole movie, she wants to please her family,” Friedlander notes on the phone from L.A. “She’s not Jewish, but that’s a Jewish thing.”
Dana’s mother ultimately proves to be the one with street smarts and common sense.
“Like every good Jewish mother, she has to meddle and figure out what’s going on,” Friedlander explains with a chuckle. “The husband wants to leave it alone, and she’s going to push to figure it out and get in the middle of it. A lot of non-Jewish people want to push things under the rug. We want to know everything instead of ignore everything.”
Friedlander worked from a screenplay by Paula Goldberg, a playwright and TV director (MTV’s “Undressed”). Their sensibilities give the film an unmistakable New York Jewish accent.
“This movie puts family first, and I think that comes from a Jewish family,” Friedlander says.
Speaking of family twists, Goldberg’s mother snapped up a cameo as a lesbian aunt, complete with a kissing scene. For the record, her father thought it was hysterical.
Friedlander was born in Connecticut and given a traditional Jewish upbringing, including a bat mitzvah. She moved to Southern California in college, and began acting before gravitating to directing and producing.
“You get to play every part when you’re a director,” Friedlander explains. She adds with a laugh, “I’m a controlling Jewish woman. What can I say? I like to tell everyone what to do.”
Friedlander’s specialty is comedy, from the award-winning short film “The 10 Rules” (a satiric survival guide to lesbian dating) to “Girl Play,” a romantic comedy adapted from the stage show written by and starring Robin Greenspan and Lacie Harmon.
“I love directing comedy and I think it just comes from my own funny spirit,” Friedlander says. “I come from a very funny family [with] textured and rich characters. I think there are a lot of layers to people who are funny and can make jokes out of serious things.”
Friedlander latest project is “Exes & Oh’s,” a half-hour lesbian comedy series inspired by “The 10 Rules” that debuts on the Logo cable network in October. Friedlander is one of the co-creators and executive producers and directed the pilot. The writers, Michelle Paradise and “Mad About You” vet Billy Grundfest, are also Jewish.
Friedlander’s territory is romantic and familial relationships, tossed with laughs and sprinkled with emotion. But she’s got more on her mind than escapist entertainment.
“I like to deal with serious issues with comedy because it’s a way people can laugh but still get the point,” she says.
“Out at the Wedding” screens 7 p.m. Friday, June 22 at the Castro Theater, 429 Castro St., SF. Tickets: $9-$10 at www.frameline.org or Superstar Satellite, 474 Castro, SF.