tel aviv | The sun was just beginning to sink into the Mediterranean as the couples took their places under the fluttering wedding canopy: three sets of brides and two sets of grooms.
In a nod to Jewish wedding tradition, a member of each couple stepped on a glass to seal the deal. Except in this wedding the centuries-old words that finalize the Jewish marriage contract were uttered with a twist: “If I forget thee, O Tel Aviv, let my right hand wither, let my tongue cleave to my palate if I do not remember you, if I do not set Tel Aviv above my highest joy.”
Replacing the traditional “Jerusalem” with “Tel Aviv” was a pronounced statement in Israel’s first municipal gay wedding ceremony and reflected the fact that it only could have taken place in Tel Aviv, the most open and liberal of Israel’s cities.
The June 12 wedding was just symbolic because the marriages are not recognized by the state.
However, it was seen as a sign of how far Israel’s gay community has come since its coming-out as a tiny movement in 1974.
Since then there have been openly gay Knesset members, a law criminalizing homosexuality was removed from the books, and the Supreme Court has made a series of landmark decisions ensuring gay Israelis their rights in such matters as spousal and adoption rights. There is also a network of gay youth groups across the country.
But perhaps the most remarkable development in recent years has been the campaign to use Israel’s gay friendliness to sell Israel’s image overseas.
Israel advocates, including the Foreign Ministry, have found the relatively tolerant treatment Israel’s gay community experiences, particularly in Tel Aviv, as a good way to sell a more progressive image of Israeli society to the world.
As part of that effort StandWithUs, a U.S.-based Israel advocacy group, flew in a group of journalists (including two from San Francisco) and gay activists from the United States and Europe for a event June 10 to 14 that culminated in Tel Aviv’s Gay Pride Parade.
Nitzan Horowitz, the only openly gay member in the current Knesset, said the issue of gay rights in Israel has to be cast as part of a broader struggle for civil rights.
Horowitz, a member of the left-wing Meretz Party, is the author of a bill that seeks to allow civil marriage in Israel for couples regardless of their gender or religion.
Israel currently has no vehicle for same-sex marriage; marriage is the exclusive domain of religious authorities. Horowitz says legislation, and not just the courts, must be used as a tool to secure gay rights.
“The main problem is that all of our achievements have been made in court, not in the parliament,” he said, noting that court rulings are reversible.
Hadar and Keren Shahar, both 30, were among those married in the group Tel Aviv municipal wedding. A lesbian couple who met and fell in love while serving in the army together 11 years ago, they brought their 5-month-old son to watch the ceremony.
“We want to be recognized as a family by law,” said Keren Shahar, who works at a center that assists victims of sexual harassment. Their last name is a new one they took together.
“Ten years ago we felt so alone and now life is very different,” said Hadar Shahar, who works for a high-tech firm. “Because of what people fought for and did we could stand here today.”