How do you know when your children are ready for sleep-away camp?
It sounds like a simple question, but it’s one with high stakes because it can determine whether a child will have a productive and fun-filled experience at camp.
“You don’t want to set your kid up for failure, because if [the child] has a bad experience, [the child] may never want to come back,” says Jodi Woodnick, director of the only Jewish sleep-away camp in Arizona, Camp Charles Pearlstein in Prescott.
“It’s important for parents at different developmental milestones to provide kids with the type of support that will nurture them,” says Bonnie Barness, a Scottsdale psychotherapist and behavioral consultant. “Overnight camp is one of the experiences that can support that goal.”
So how do you tell when the experience will support children’s development or sour them on camp?
“I think it’s different for every child,” says Stacy Rosenthal, a religious-school principal in Scottsdale and the mother of three campers — ages 10, 14 and 17. “Two of our kids were ready to go the first year they were eligible, and the other wasn’t.”
She suggests having a conversation with the child to explain what camp is going to be like and to answer questions or talk about fears the child may have. “I think if after you have addressed what they are concerned about and a child is adamant that they don’t want to go, you should listen to that,” Rosenthal says.
“I would say they are ready if they are expressing an interest to go, first and foremost,” says Woodnick. “Sometimes they don’t know what they want, but if they seem interested, and if they’re good at doing sleepovers at friends’ houses, then I’d say they’re ready.”
“When they can go to sleepovers at friends’ homes or spend the night at their grandparents’ house and enjoy the experience, those are good indicators that they are probably ready,” Rosenthal agrees.
In fact, says Barness, sleepovers are an important developmental prerequisite for overnight camp.
“When they’re toddlers and when they are in preschool, parents should have kids sleep at other family members’ homes that they trust and, later, they should have sleepovers with their friends — always with people that the parents trust,” she says.
Not laying that groundwork makes the transition to camp very difficult for the child, Barness says. “You don’t want going to camp being the first time they’re away from home.”
She adds, “It’s a process, but if the child has difficulty and they’re clingy and it’s clear they’re not ready yet, it means you need to be doing more things at home to build their confidence and independence.”
More important than age, Woodnick says, are skills like being able to change their own clothes and shower themselves. “When they’re independent in that regard, if the kid thinks that he’s ready to go, most likely he is,” she adds.
Parents should also examine whether they are ready to have their children go to camp, says Woodnick.
“All of a sudden you may realize, ‘Oh, my God! My kid’s going to be independent and isn’t going to need me,’” she says, and that may make a parent feel reluctant to send the child to camp.
But, she stresses, a parent feeling any reluctance should consider “what your kid will gain from summer camp.”
Because of the varied activities — from arts and crafts to sports — “kids get to explore different gifts they have and develop hobbies and passions,” Barness says.
“There’s nothing like camp to build positive Jewish identity,” Woodnick says. “The interpersonal and personal growth that comes with one or two weeks at camp is something you’ll be amazed about as a parent.”