I don’t know if you know this, but you can now purchase kosher computers. They are made in Israel, and the price is low, even with shipping.
However, before you purchase one, you should know that there are some important differences between a typical computer and the all-new kosher computer, such as:
The “Start” button has been replaced with a “Let’s go! I’m not getting any younger!” button.
You hear “Hava Nagila” during startup.
The cursor moves from right to left.
When spell-checker finds an error it prompts, “Is this the best you can do?”
When you look at erotic images, your computer says, “If your mother knew you did this, she would die.”
It comes with a cleaning solution that gets rid of all the “schmutz und drek.” It’s made by Manischewitz.
When running “scan disk” it prompts you with a “You want I should fix this?” message.
After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC goes “shloffen.”
The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
It comes with two hard drives — one for fleyshedik (business software) and one for milchedik (games).
Instead of getting a “general protection fault” error, your PC now gets “Ferklempt.”
When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud “oy gevalt!”
Computer viruses can now be cured with matzah ball soup.
When disconnecting external devices from the PC, you are instructed to “Remove the cable from the PC’s tuchus.”
But best of all, if you have a kosher computer, you can’t get SPAM.
www.harryc.com