Dr. Sharon Ufberg and her three children offer advice about family, love and life. Send your questions to [email protected].
A dear friend’s daughter recently had her first baby, a darling boy, and we were invited to the bris. Now this is a family who spent the past nine months joyously outfitting their new little bundle, his room, his closet and his toy chest. It is hard to imagine them needing anything at all.
As a close friend of the family I don’t feel comfortable walking in empty-handed but am loathe to buy yet another baby toy. So my question is — what do you bring to a bris for a baby who has everything? C.R., Piedmont
Sharon: Wow, what a lucky boy! My tradition has always been to bring something special for the new mom rather than the baby. The little guy usually has everything a new baby needs, but a new mom always appreciates some extra attention. I have given a variety of gifts depending on the mom — from a homemade meal to an afternoon of babysitting while mom takes a nap. I love the thought of giving the mom and your friend, the new grandmother, an afternoon of manicures and pedicures.
The most important point is really to give something that feels right to you, whether it is a bag of lemons from your garden or a windup stuffed animal to pile into the crib. Try to take a moment to honor this amazing time in your friend’s life and celebrate her new member of the family together.
Jessica: I can understand your predicament here. My initial thought was that maybe you could offer this family something more outside the box. Are you an awesome photographer? Could you capture all the fun and special moments at the bris? (Can you ever call a bris fun?!) Maybe you could make a small photo album. Or perhaps start a scrapbook, beginning with the invitation to the bris or the birth announcement. Another idea is to put together a basket with all the baby essentials. Find out from your friend the types of products they use and help them restock! It’s a very practical gift that I am sure won’t go to waste.
Saul: Wait a minute — let’s think about a real gift for the kid. I think you’re never too young to get your first piece of memorabilia. How about getting him a sports jersey or special ball from a star athlete from the year of his birth? Now that’s a gift!
Alexis: I have been to one too many brises feeling much the same — with gift in hand, thinking there must be a more meaningful way to express my excitement for the new arrival. I just hate the thought of adding another baby toy to a pile that is already overflowing. So this is what works for me, and I hope it helps inspire some ideas for you, too: I order parenting magazines or books for the new parents, buy favorite books for kids (I especially love sharing my personal favorites — the ones I can still hear my parents reading to me), or give some great children’s music (I will never forget the Suzuki tunes of my childhood or the magic of Raffi). If you opt for a book, add a special touch by writing a personal inscription — it makes the gift even more meaningful.
Dr. Sharon Ufberg is a Napa-based radio host, journalist, consultant and integrative health practitioner. Her daughters live in San Francisco: Lawyer-turned-writer Alexis Sclamberg, 28 and married; and hair colorist Jessica Sclamberg, 26 and single. Saul Sclamberg, 24 and single, studies chiropractic in Los Angeles. Read more at http://r-2-cents.com.