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Friday is family night. The work week is over. With candles, wine, challah, prayers, chicken and kugel, families welcome the Sabbath.

At least that's the way it's supposed to be.

But for many Jews, vegetarianism, cholesterol-consciousness, geographic mobility, divorce, delayed marriages and bereavement have changed the picture of the Shabbat table.

Chicken and kugel are out. And there's no spouse, children or extended family to join them.

In fact, the absence of family leaves many Jewish singles feeling alienated. Because many are unaffiliated or feel out of place at synagogues, Shabbat and other holidays go unobserved.

But things are changing.

Throughout the Bay Area, synagogues and other Jewish organizations are reaching out to bring singles back to Judaism and provide a place for them to celebrate Jewish holidays and Shabbat. From these celebrations grow "families of choice," friendships and even an occasional romance.

Two years ago, through a Koret Synagogue Initiative grant, Karen Roekard was hired as program director at Tiburon's Congregation Kol Shofar. One of the first things she did was organize the singles Mishpacha Group (Hebrew for "family"). The last Friday of every month, the group holds a potluck Shabbat at someone's house.

Usually attended by 30 to 35 people ranging in age from 40s to early 70s, the evening starts off with a short presentation by Roekard.

"People say their name and where they came from originally," said Roekard. "When we're done with the ritual, we eat and everyone is talking to everyone."

The Shabbat dinners draw singles from all over the Bay Area. David Shaw, 50, has been attending for about a year.

"As a single person you don't have the sense of an ongoing family," says Shaw. "I like doing Shabbos and this is a nice group to do Shabbos with."

Last February, Mitzi Kemp of San Rafael's Congregation Rodef Sholom organized the Singles 50-plus Fourth Friday Shabbat Potluck.

Usually attended by 15 to 20 singles, the Shabbat dinners are held at the synagogue and followed by services. Although there's usually a short presentation by the rabbi or another speaker at the dinner, Kemp says the main purpose is social.

"We're trying to make a viable organization for people to find each other," says Kemp. "We're reaching out for each other and that's the point."

For 18 years, Congregation Beth David in Saratoga has been holding a special singles service at 9 p.m. on the first Friday of each month. The service is usually attended by 20 to 40 people from their 30s to 60s.

Discussing the group's longevity, Rabbi Daniel Pressman said, "The reason I think it keeps going is that it provides a quiet, safe, low-key atmosphere to worship and there's an oneg afterwards where people can talk."

On the fourth Friday of each month, San Francisco's Congregation Sherith Israel's young adult group, Simcha, sponsors a service. The service is attended by anywhere from 40 to 100 people ranging in age from early 20s to early 40s. Sometimes the service is preceded by a Shabbat dinner.

"People are searching for a lot of things," says Janice Weinstein, the synagogue's Koret Initiative program director. "There's a need for community and to connect with others like them. Since [the Shabbat services] are grounded in Judaism, it's familiar. They want to explore this area of their lives that hasn't been explored. Dating is a motivation. [Going to services] is less threatening than going to a bar or dance club."

In addition to monthly services, Simcha sponsors monthly Shabbat potlucks in members' homes, featuring speakers.

Debbie Abrams, who has been involved with Simcha for about four years, said the dinners are good community-builders, particularly for those "who want to celebrate Shabbat and don't have family immediately available.

"The nice thing about the services and potluck is most people don't walk in feeling like it's a singles scene," she said. "There's not the pressure to meet someone."

On the first Friday of every month, the Young Adults Division of the S.F.-based Jewish Community Federation sponsors a monthly Shabbat potluck dinner for singles. The dinners, held at private homes in San Francisco, Marin and the Peninsula, are open to singles between ages 21 to 39. Although the dinners are mainly social, prayers are said over the candles, wine and bread, and there's a short Kabbalat Shabbat service.

"Sometimes [the dinner] lasts until 11 or 12," says Lisa Tabak, director of YAD, adding that last month, a total of 100 people attended dinners held at four locations.

In Alameda and Contra Costa counties, the Jewish Federation of the Greater East Bay also offers monthly dinners in private homes through the Young Jewish Alliance. The events, while not limited to singles, largely attract singles between ages 25 and 40, said Jamie Hyams, community services director of the East Bay federation's Center for Jewish Living and Learning.

Late last month, several East Bay congregations and singles groups sponsored their joint first singles Shabbat. Held at Congregation Beth El in Berkeley, services were preceded by a potluck and followed by an oneg.

Adele Amodeo, who organized the event, wants the group to be able to serve singles who have a variety of orientations.

"There is a very different population of singles in each of the synagogues. Beth El has a lot of single moms. Kehilla has a lot of singles who are gay," Amodeo said. "It's clear that for singles programming to be successful we have to reach beyond one congregation."

While affiliation with a synagogue or federation often makes it easier to organize singles events, some organizations that are not affiliated prefer a less-formal approach. Once or twice a month, Contra Costa East Bay Jewish Singles holds Shabbat potlucks in members' homes, both in Contra Costa and Alameda counties.

The meals are informal. Religious observances are limited to the prayers over the candles, wine and bread. Participants range in age from late 30s to mid 50s.

Mitch Salzman, 51, a member of the planning committee, says the dinners help develop a sense of Jewish community. "We want to let single middle-aged Jewish men and women know there's something out there."

Other Shabbat groups, launched by friends, eschew the "singles" designation completely.

For the past 14 months, Katie Triest and Leah Goldberg have been part of a chavurah that meets for potluck Shabbat dinners followed by discussions on Jewish themes. Members take turns organizing the discussion.

With a core group of 11, ranging in age from 30 to 45, they often bring guests to their Friday night Shabbat potluck dinners. Although being single is not a requirement, most members are. But Triest and Goldberg are adamant that the chavurah is not a place to look for mates.

"We do not want to make this a singles group where people come to meet partners," said Triest.

Goldberg agrees. "I was looking for a surrogate family," she said. "The same people come all the time, which is the purpose of our little community."