Best man workload a big test

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If you're a guy and your best buddy has just asked you to stand up for him at his wedding, you also have responsibilities as a member of the wedding party.

The first is not to hassle him about his intended bride and the wedding. He doesn't need his friends stressing him out,

If you're the best man, you can expect to: help the groom choose the tuxedoes all the ushers and he will be wearing for the day; organize the bachelor party and attend the wedding rehearsal; pay for your tux rental and rent or purchase dress shoes to match; make time for a tux fitting and make sure the ushers do, too; act as an official witness to the ceremony; help your friend get ready on the day of the wedding, since he'll most likely be too nervous to remember much of anything; hold the wedding rings for the ceremony and possibly even give the official his fee. (Note: You won't have to pay it yourself; the groom should have given the fee to you in an envelope.)

You'll also give a toast at the reception; and most importantly, if it's customary among your circle of family and friends, decorate the car of the bride and groom so the community will know they're newlyweds.

If you've been tapped as an usher, you will have to pay for your tux rental and rent/buy matching dress shoes, too; make time to be fitted for the tux; attend the bachelor party and the wedding rehearsal; help seat the wedding guests for the ceremony; tell wedding guests where to go for the reception, if they ask for directions; and help the best man decorate the bride and groom's get-away car. You'll also have to provide moral support for your friend, since the bride isn't the only one who gets pre-wedding jitters.

Considering these responsibilities and recognizing that your friend probably spent a fair amount of time deciding whom to ask to be in his wedding, be honest with yourself and with him.

Tell your friend upfront if you won't be able to handle all the expenses and still pay the rent. (Don't forget to add in travel expenses for an out-of-town wedding.) This will save both of you the stress and bad feelings that will result from a last-minute refusal to be in the party.

If you think you can handle everything, then relax, try to help keep your friend relaxed and enjoy the festivities. Just don't forget the shaving cream for the car.