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Cute kid quips

After services on Saturday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a rabbi when I grow up.”

“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?” the mother asked.

“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to temple on Shabbat anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen.”

A boy was watching his father, a rabbi, write a sermon. “How do you know what to say?” he asked.

“Why, God tells me,” his father replied.

“Then why do you keep crossing things out?”

A little girl became restless as the rabbi’s High Holy Day appeal sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

The Hebrew schoolteacher asks, “Now, Sammy, do you say a prayer before eating?”

“No,” Sammy replied. “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.”

During a Shabbat service, a mother with a fidgety 7-year old boy finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, “If you don’t be quiet, Rabbi Cohen is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!”