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For all the talk of Israel's failure at public relations, we — the Jews of America — are proof of its success.

So behind the curve are we, that we believed Jerusalem's leaders, from left and right, when they told us the following, for decades:

*The Palestine Liberation Organization and Yasser Arafat were terrorists, not to be dealt with at the peace table.

*Settlements on the West Bank were important "facts on the ground" to protect the nation.

*The Golan Heights represented Israel's most vital and strategic territory.

Over the last decade, our most sacred notions about Israeli security have come tumbling down. The PLO and Arafat are now Israel's partners in peace, we keep reminding ourselves, even as the Palestinian leader tells his people of the need to make holy war on the Zionists.

How can we harbor ill will against Arafat when the widow of slain Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin treats Arafat more respectfully than she does former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu — or when the adult daughter of Prime Minister Ehud Barak is "deeply moved" by a kiss on the forehead from the Palestinian leader? The description comes from Barak himself, who notes the irony of the situation.

And what about the notion of Jewish settlers as modern-day versions of the original pioneers who braved hardships to build up the land for the good of the collective? That image has given way to darker, harsher ones.

Less than 25 years after Ephraim Kishon, Israel's Art Buchwald, wrote a glowing tribute to the knitted-kippah brigade of Israeli youth reconnecting to their faith and heritage by moving to the settlements, these same people are depicted as militant, religious fanatics, with a major influx from Brooklyn, who spend their time hunting down peace-loving Palestinians.

And now it is the Golan.

Virtually every American on a mission to Israel these last three decades, from presidents and military brass to federation leaders, was taken to the Golan Heights where one could see for one's self the realities of living alongside Syria, Israel's most intractable enemy.

We were told that the 1,200-square-kilometer area, with its high peaks, made the difference between life and death for Israel in the 1973 Yom Kippur War and that the Golan continues to provide the key to survival in the area.

Are we to believe that we've been brainwashed all these years, that this was just nonsense?

Yossi Beilin, Israel's brilliant and dovish justice minister, met with about 60 leaders of the American Jewish community recently in New York. The encounter may well have been a microcosm of the kind of angst, anger and confusion taking place in dialogues and debates among Jews these days from Tel Aviv to Texas.

Beilin spoke persuasively about why it might be in Israel's best interest to give up the Golan, or most of it, in return for a peace agreement with Syria. Beilin said that he fought in the region and lost comrades there, so he was not cavalier about the prospects of "going down" from the Golan. If it were to happen, he said, he would weep.

Still, Beilin asserted that Israel must do all it can to end the wars and hostilities with the Arabs and seek to fulfill the Zionist dream by creating a peaceful society. And he argued that to do so, Jerusalem must weigh the "heavy price" of territory against the prospect of ending wars with its neighbors.

The advantages, he said, are strategic, diplomatic, economic and psychological, noting that Syria's long-range missiles represent more of a danger than the potential loss of the Golan and that a genuine peace agreement would open the way for similar agreements with the rest of the Arab world and increased access to Europe.

But most of those who responded to

Beilin at the meeting of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations were skeptical at best. And Beilin acknowledged that Barak's government will need a major campaign to convince American Jews, and perhaps Congress, that the considerable financial costs of a peace deal would be worth it.

A vigorous debate will be healthy at this critical juncture, and Barak has promised a national referendum before any decision is made.

For now, though, Barak, Beilin and company will have a hard time dissuading some of us that the visual, political and military proof they offered us for 32 years — emphasizing the critical importance of the Golan Heights to Israel's security — is no longer valid.

And perhaps, looking ahead to the final round of negotiations with the Palestinians, we should start preparing ourselves to reconsider what has become a Jewish mantra — namely, that Jerusalem is the eternal capital of the Jewish people.