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Most people have no trouble telling someone about a good restaurant or movie. So why is it so hard for them to promote their congregations to non-members?

That was the question Daryl Messinger posed to an audience of about 30 synagogue leaders at last weekend's Union of American Hebrew Congregations' regional biennial convention in San Jose.

Several sessions, in fact, dealt with the topic of how to make synagogues more appealing and inclusive.

Messinger, a past president of Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos Hills, believes she didn't do enough to promote her synagogue to unaffiliated Jews.

"California has one of the lowest affiliation rates in the country," she said. "How do we attract new members to our congregations?"

It's all about marketing, said Gary Cohn at a Friday afternoon seminar.

The executive director of Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco since 1991, Cohn formerly worked in marketing for the banking industry.

In preparing the report "Synagogue 2000," Cohn examined membership packets from all over the country and found most of them in need of updating and polishing. He found letters that had been photocopied so many times they were unreadable, and copies of temple bulletins that included articles about financial woes or building-fund drives. While these may be facts of synagogue life, he said, they could discourage new people from joining.

All of the packets included dues information, but "less than 10 percent talked about the Reform movement and how [the synagogue] practiced it."

Cohn said it's important to make visitors and new members feel welcome at Friday night services and oneg Shabbat. To do that, some synagogues ask new members or visitors to wear nametags or stand up at the beginning of the service. Emanu-El has been experimenting successfully with a social hour before services, he added.

On a positive note, Cohn said that while approximately 80 percent of Bay Area Jews are unaffiliated, synagogues are seeing their largest growth in 40 years. Most new members are looking for a connection, he said, so synagogues should have a solid program to welcome and integrate them into the fold.

"The first six to 12 months are the most crucial," said Cohn, who made a number of recommendations on how to reach out to new members.

Also, congregations must be attuned to the changing demographics of their membership and adapt their programs, policies and facilities accordingly, Cohn said. "In 1960, 90 percent of Jewish families had two Jewish parents and two kids. In 1990 only 10 percent of Jewish families looked like that."

The role of the non-Jew in the synagogue was the topic of a Saturday afternoon seminar.

"It's very complicated and all-encompassing," said Rabbi Alan Henkin. "It involves religious school, lifecycle events and governance."

Henkin, the regional director of the Pacific Southwest Council of the UAHC, is a former congregational rabbi at Beth Knesset Bamidbar in Lancaster, outside Los Angeles.

"Ritual is the driving issue," he said. "What can non-Jews do? An aliyah? The Torah service? There are some acts that have to be reserved for Jews."

Dawn Kepler, chair of the outreach committee of Oakland's Temple Sinai, said her congregation spent a year reviewing its bylaws before developing a policy on the role of non-Jews in the synagogue. The goal was to be inclusive and support the interfaith family, without giving Judaism away.

"We had congregational meetings and forums. There were no surprises and when the time came, the vote was easy," Kepler said. "You want to make people feel welcome and if it's a warm community, they'll connect."

One segment of the Jewish population that is sometimes shut out includes those who are physically challenged. Making the synagogue a truly accessible place for the disabled was the subject of a Sunday morning seminar.

"It's a myth when temples say, 'We don't have anyone'" with special needs, said Tiela Chalmers. People who are disabled won't join a congregation unless it has the necessary accommodations, she added, but "if you build it, they will come."

Chalmers and her co-presenter, Danny Gellman, are members of Congregation Sha'ar Zahav in San Francisco which recently built a new synagogue. Gellman, who uses a wheelchair, said accessibility has to be considered for every off-site event whether it's in another facility or someone's house.

"Disability and transportation needs should be part of the congregation's annual survey," Gellman said. "A disability can happen to anybody at anytime for any length of time. Don't think of [disabled people] as a separate group."

As people age, they have more impairments and need more accommodations, the panelists said. As a result, structural modifications to the building are often needed, although they can be expensive.

There's a legal and moral obligation to follow through, Chalmers said. "In the end it's about making it a priority" — that's what being a welcoming synagogue means.