Chances are that when members of the state Assembly were elected, they didn’t think they’d be getting a crash course in Yiddish. But thanks to Assembly Speaker Robert M. Hertzberg they are.
“Yiddish for Assemblymembers” is a 36-page brochure that the Democrat from Van Nuys published (not at taxpayer expense) to familiarize his colleagues with some terms that he uses from time to time.
“I, myself, use many of the expressions included here and want to make certain that my comments are always understandable and never misinterpreted,” he writes in the introduction. “I believe this guide can also be helpful to you in dealing with constituents and in using appropriate terminology in letters and certificates.”
Hertzberg, the first Jewish Assembly speaker in 73 years, defines each word, offers a pronunciation guide and then gives an example of its usage in a sentence, which usually has to do with politics.
“I want to make sure members don’t get farblondjet when us alter kakhers of the Assembly make a megillah about our bills,” Hertzberg said in a statement.
A few examples from Hertzberg’s wit:
Alter kakher is a “crotchety, fussy, ineffectual, old person.” Example: “You nitpick these bills so much, you’re beginning to be a real alter kakher.”
Alevai means “it should only happen.” Example: “We’ll get it out of the committee, alevai, and then we’ll see what happens on the floor.”
Bobbe myseh is “an old wives’ tale or improbable story.” Example: “His resume showed that he had been the head of a major policy institute. What a bobbe myseh!”
Boychick is “diminutive of boy; can be used sarcastically, but more usually, with fondness.” Example: “So boychick, are you proud of your accomplishments as a member of the Assembly?”
Chaloshes is “disgusting, unbelievably hideous.” Example: “That’s the last time I go to one of his campaign events; he showed up three hours late and the food was chaloshes!”
Farblondjet is “mixed up.” Example: “We need better directions to our Capitol offices so that our constituents won’t get all farblondjet when they’re looking for us.”
Mavin is “a really knowledgeable person; an expert.” Example: Since when are you a mavin on the Prop 98 funding formula?”
Megillah is “a tale; a long drawn out story. Anything complicated, boring.” Example: So he gave me the whole megillah about the bill and I agreed to be a co-author.”
Nu is “the verbal equivalent of a sigh, a frown, a grin, a grunt, a sneer or a question.” Example: “I saw you come out of the Governor’s office. Nu?”
Plotz as a noun is “a place or a seat,” but it is more commonly used as a verb meaning “to split, burst or explode.” Example: “I almost plotzed when I realized that someone else had introduced the same bill.”
Shlock is “a shoddy, cheaply made article; a fake article.” Example: “You can’t pass off that shlock as reasoned legislation.”
Tzedakah is “the obligation to establish justice by being righteous; it is the closest word to charity.” Example: “Let’s practice tzedakah here and increase the funding in the health care, food stamp and renter’s credit legislation.”
The brochure also explains all of the Jewish holidays, giving their dates for the year 2002.