Vayigash
Genesis 44:18-47:27
Ezekiel 37:15-28
Joseph’s brothers made their way to Egypt because of a famine in Canaan. There they stood before a thoroughly Egyptianized Joseph, who neither welcomed nor revealed his identity to them. Instead, he toyed with them, discomforted them, and forced them to re-enact a scene in which they, once again, were faced with the terrible choice of either abandoning their father’s favorite son, their youngest sibling, or protecting him by placing their own lives in jeopardy.
Instead of a re-enactment of the cruel events that occurred when Joseph was a boy, this time the narrative had a different and better outcome. Instead of abandoning brother Benjamin, Joseph’s brothers now defended him, a scenario quite different from the one of two decades before in which they had sold Joseph into slavery without regard for his welfare or the well-being of their father, Jacob.
It was only at that moment, when it was clear they had changed for the better, that the flabbergasted, speechless brothers attempted to make some sense out of Joseph’s words delivered through his tears and loud wailing: “And Joseph said to his brothers: ‘I am Joseph. Is my father still well?'” (Genesis 45:3)
Perhaps, if Joseph’s brothers had been more aware of communication subtleties, they would not have had cause to worry, because they would have understood all of the cues that indicated that the man who imperiously threatened them was more benign than they had believed him to be. They even might have suspected that this seemingly Egyptian prince was actually their brother.
If only they had taken the incongruities of Joseph’s behavior and speech to mean something more than they appeared to be, they would have understood that something unusual was happening; they might have saved themselves a great deal of anguish.
Of course, the reader of the Torah not only has the benefit of knowing how the story ends, he also has the advantage of knowing something about modern communication theory that teaches that when there is incongruity between words, tone of voice and body language, something is amiss. When a red flag of this nature appears, intuitive individuals make a mental note of this discrepancy and make purposeful use of the information. If enough evidence exists, as it did in the Joseph story, then further investigation may yield usable information.
Nevertheless, the many clues, so obvious to the modern reader, went unheeded by Joseph’s brothers. Just a few of those cues could have served as evidence to Joseph’s brothers that there was more going on than they understood. For example, on two occasions (Gen. 42:24, 43:30), Joseph struggled to hold back his tears, and he even had to take leave of his brothers when he could not control his weeping. Nevertheless, the tears welling up in his eyes did not seem to raise their suspicions.
Furthermore, when Joseph demanded that the brothers go home and return with Benjamin, they did not think this request to be odd. It did not seem curious to the brothers that Joseph had unusual interest in their father and younger brother. When the brothers returned, they did not think it peculiar that Joseph, who had spoken so harshly to them, now greeted them with a feast at which Benjamin was given a portion that was huge in comparison to the other brothers. The fact that Joseph seated his brothers in exact birth order at this feast also did not appear to arouse their curiosity.
Most of us are probably no better than Joseph’s brothers were at picking up on the unspoken cues that fill communication in our relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. By extension, many are also not aware when they transmit unspoken messages that belie true feelings.
Vayigash, this week’s Torah portion, can be instructive to the reader in several ways: First, we need to be aware of the cues that reveal the true intention of the people we come into contact with, and second, when we communicate with others we should endeavor to be as direct and clear as possible. To do otherwise is to present conflicting messages that lead to mishaps, misunderstandings and difficulties.
The saga of Joseph and his brothers reminds the reader that there is often more than meets the eye in the communications we both send and receive, and this recognition often makes it is possible to avoid becoming a victim of some pitfalls of incongruent messages.