Some things just improve with age.
On a Saturday morning in March, the 85-year-old — known as Lu by nearly everybody in her Danville Jewish community — climbed the bimah at Beth Chaim Congregation to become a bat mitzvah. In addition to her husband, Rudy, and the rest of her family, nearly 200 friends and admirers were in attendance for the life-cycle event.
“People ask me why I wanted to do this so late in life,” said Heede, whose Judaic involvement has developed over time. “There were classes I had taken, and I enjoyed watching the bar and bat mitzvahs so much that I decided I wanted to learn how to read from the Torah, too.”
There were certain advantages, in fact, to tackling the endeavor later in life. Besides being far more mature, Heede is many decades past those pubescent tribulations that can complicate b’nai mitzvah preparation for the typical teen.
There would be no voice cracking, no middle-school distractions, no concerns about the horrible state of one’s complexion at showtime.
Instead, Heede had to balance her bat mitzvah training schedule with planning trips across North America and Europe with her husband, as well as taking the cruises that have marked her retirement years.
The only major challenge for Heede, however, was learning Hebrew, as she had never before tried to master a foreign language.
When Heede was 13 in 1930, a Reform Jewish girl did not have a bat mitzvah. This was something she understood and really did not think much about until 18 months before her 85th birthday.
That’s when she decided to rectify the omission. Heede contacted Karen Carter, a religious educator, tutor and personal friend at Beth Chaim.
They had gotten to know each other through Rabbi Dan Goldblatt’s monthly educational classes at the synagogue. Heede approached Carter and asked for her help in preparing for the enormous undertaking.
“When she was 80, the [Beth Chaim] Sisterhood honored Lu as their Designated Woman of Valor,” Carter said. “She felt honored, but not deserving of the honor. All her life she had somewhat doubted her Judaic relevance because of her age and because she’s a woman. That pushed her to further her own religious education.”
Heede began taking Hebrew classes at the Contra Costa JCC and studying with her tutor. She ran through introductory classes a couple of times. From there, she started reviewing the aleph bet with Carter for weeks on end. Then they moved on to learning the brachot and, finally, mastering Heede’s Torah portion.
“First we started out of the book, then Karen tape-recorded how to chant for me,” Heede said. “I practiced with that tape every day. At this time of my life it wasn’t easy, but luckily I had a patient teacher.”
Carter, used to teaching sixth and seventh graders, said that not only was Heede the oldest bat mitzvah student she’s ever worked with, she was also the first person in Beth Chaim’s 24-year history to become a bat mitzvah at her age. On average about 45 b’nai mitzvah take place every year at the Danville congregation.
That Heede is one of the oldest members of Beth Chaim, both in membership years and in age, prompted a tremendous outpouring of support, as guests made donations to the congregation’s new building fund in her honor. Close to $2,500 was raised the weekend of her bat mitzvah.
“I’m hoping to celebrate my 90th birthday at our new building,” Heede said. “I’m planning on it, in fact.”
And for her 100th birthday?
“I’m moving into The Reutlinger Community for Jewish Living.”
Heede volunteers her time at the Reutlinger residential facility once a week, and is known by many through her involvement in the Jewish community at large. Her many friends expressed support and pride at her decision to finally have the Jewish confirmation she never had growing up, Heede said.
“I was brought up at a Reform Sunday school, but I was never confirmed because my parents changed to a Conservative congregation before that happened,” she said.
“When I completed my bat mitzvah, I finally became confirmed. It took over 70 years, but I finally did it.”