The bar mitzvah is over. Dress clothes go back in the closet. The Haftarah portion is neatly pressed into a book and filed away as a keepsake, and formal Jewish education comes to a screeching halt.
That’s the way it happens at age 13 for most Jewish teens — b’nai mitzvah represents the finish line. But if Mark Lazar has his way, that will soon change.
Lazar, the director and guiding light of San Francisco Havurah and Peninsula Havurah High, is attempting to revitalize two programs that serve up weekly Jewish social and educational opportunities for ninth- to 12th-graders.
The two Havurah programs, under the umbrella of the Bureau of Jewish Education, have been around for several years, but according to Lazar, they were losing steam — and students. He was brought in last July to “put a different spin on things” and to give Jewish teens more of what they’re looking for.
“We need to shake things up here,” said Lazar, an educator who recently came to the Bay Area after living in Israel for nine years.
At San Francisco Havurah, shaking things up translates into an evening of food, music, games and socializing. Lazar has no problem relating to the types of music and activities the teens are looking for.
The social activity is followed by two 45-minute educational sessions with topics ranging from women’s issues to family issues, the Holocaust, Israel and the media, ethics and moral decisions, and “asking the big questions in life.”
The school operates on a trimester basis and engages participants with group dynamics. Lazar explained: “We want the students to talk as much as possible and to explore what they’re feeling in different areas of life.”
On the Peninsula, the Havurah program is a bit more structured and runs on semesters. But like its counterpart in San Francisco, Peninsula Havurah High is a vibrant community, trying to break down barriers and approach young people with informal techniques.
Becky Bob-Waksberg, 15, attended Jewish day school for elementary and middle school and was looking for a way to continue a Jewish framework. The Peninsula program, which most of her friends attend as well, is a place to meet and hang out one evening a week.
“Most of the classes at the Havurah are actually relevant to my life,” she said. “I go home and think about what I’ve learned and maybe it will change something in the way that I act in the next week. It actually makes a difference in my life.”
This is a contrast to her regular school classes, which she said she takes “because I have to.”
Havurah’s educational methods are a departure from the norm. They are experimental, focusing more on the individual and the group than on the topics being presented. “The topic is almost a vehicle to connect to Judaism,” said Lazar.
Before his involvement, classes were lecture-based. “It was just more of the same of what they’re getting during the day…They’ve been locked up in a classroom too long,” he said, “they don’t need more school.” Lazar is taking the desks away; he’d rather have students sitting in a circle on the floor.
He told a story, of a young woman who hadn’t spoken in class the entire year and who recently participated for the first time. The rest of the class applauded. “The reinforcement the other kids gave by applauding and hugging her…
“She’s now coming out of her shell and it’s feeling good. When the teacher shared this story in a recent staff meeting, a few of us were crying.”
Nurturing a Jewish identity in the Bay Area, where Jews are a minority, can be difficult. Lazar hopes to help teens find a safe place to do just that. “I talked to a girl last week and she thinks that her school is a half of a percent Jewish,” he said. “People hear that she’s Jewish and they’re just amazed because they’ve never met a Jew before. She feels isolated.”
He is passionate in his belief that it’s important for parents to prioritize their children’s busy schedules to include an ongoing connection to Judaism. “A two-and-a-half hour shot, including the social time, is a drop in the bucket in terms of someone’s identity.”
Synagogues partnering in the program include Congregation Beth Am, Congregation Etz Chayim, Congregation Kol Emeth, and Temple Beth Jacob on the Peninsula; Congregations Sherith Israel, Emanu-El and Beth Sholom, and Or Shalom Jewish Community in San Francisco. The synagogues provide educational guidance as well as financial support for the programs.