Four Jewish Brothers

Four Jewish brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and businessmen. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner

together. They discussed the gifts that they were able

to give to their elderly mother, who lived far away in

another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a $100,000 theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600 with a chauffeur.

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Torah and you know she can’t read it anymore because she can1t see very well. I met this rabbi who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took 20 rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 20 years to the temple, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mama sent out her thank-you notes. She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes… and the driver you hired is a Nazi. But the thought was good. Thanks."

"Menachim, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound; it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. But thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Coffee making

A husband and wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it. I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

The husband replied, "I can’t believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS."

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