Thank God and amen

A young man, Yaakov, is lost and walking in the desert.

One hot day, he spots an oasis of a rabbinical school. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the entrance gate and collapses.

A rabbi finds Yaakov and calls the school doctor who cares for his needs. Eventually the doctor nurses him back to health. Feeling better and desiring to continue on his journey, Yaakov asks the head rabbi for directions to the nearest town and if he could borrow one of the school’s horses.

The rabbi says, “Of course you can borrow one of our horses, Yaakov. Just leave it in town at the local stable. They will return it. Also, there is a special thing about our horses at this school. You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make them go and ‘Amen’ to make them stop.”

Not paying much attention, Yaakov says, “Sure, OK.”

So he gets on the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts walking. Then he says, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, Yaakov says, “Thank God” again and again until the horse just takes off. Pretty soon, Yaakov sees a cliff coming up and he does everything he can to make the horse stop.

“Whoa, stop, hold on!” Finally remembering what the head rabbi said, he shouts, “Amen!” The horse stops 4 inches from the edge of the cliff. Yaakov wipes his brow, leans back in the saddle, takes a deep breath of air thinking, “That was a close one!” Then he says, “Thank God!”

Heaven’s entrance exam

A man dies and goes to heaven but before he can enter he is stopped by the angel who guards the Pearly Gates. The angel explains that it is not easy to get into heaven. There is a certain criterion to be met before entry is allowed.

The angel says, “Before I can let you enter you have to pass an admittance test.”

So the man says to the angel, “What kind of a test?”

The angel says, “You have to spell a word.”

The man says, “OK! “What’s the word?”

The angel says,”Love.” So the man spells love, l-o-v-e.

The angel says, “Very good. You may now enter.”

Before he does, the man tells the angel that his lawyer should be arriving soon and kindly requests that the angel give him the word “Czechoslovakia”

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