Home, sweet home

A good old American Jew felt that death was close and asked his sons to take him to the Holy Land, so he could die there and be buried in Jerusalem.

The loving sons did as he asked — took him to Jerusalem, put him in a hospital and waited for death to come. However, once in Jerusalem the old man felt better and better and in some weeks was again strong, healthy and full of life. He called upon his sons and told them: “Take me quickly back to the United States.”

The sons were somehow disappointed and asked: “Father, how come? You said you want to die in the Holy Land and be buried in Jerusalem!’

“Yes,” answered the father, “but better to live in Boca.”

Two men and Einstein

“Jacob, do you know Einstein is coming to our town?”

“Who is he? Is he a famous pharmacist?”

“No, he is a famous physicist, the most famous Jew in the world. He is the author of the theory of relativity.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, how can I explain this? You see, you have two hairs on your head. Is that a lot or a little?”

“A little.”

“And now let’s imagine you found the same number of hairs in your borscht …”

The interview

A personnel employee interviews a Jew for a job.

“What’s your name?”

“Whose? Mine?”

“Of course yours.”

“Silverstein.”

“Where were you born?”

“Who, me?”

“Yes, you!”

“In Brooklyn.”

“How many years of experience do you have?”

“Who, me?”

“You, you, you!”

“Ten years.”

“How old you are?”

“Who? Me?”

“No! Me!”

“You? Oh I’d guess 40, 45.”

These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.