A synagogue visit

Sam and Paula make a rare appearance in synagogue. It’s true to say that they are not the most religious of Jews. In fact they only go to synagogue two or three times every year — and this is one of those days.

At the end of the service, Sam shakes Rabbi Rose’s hand and says, “Paula and I both thoroughly enjoyed your service today, Rabbi.”

Rabbi Rose replies, “It’s nice of you to say so, Sam. So why don’t you and Paula come here more often?”

“It’s difficult, but at least we keep the Ten Commandments,” replies Sam.

“That’s really good to hear,” says the rabbi.

“Yes,” says Sam proudly, “Paula keeps six of them and I keep the other four.”

A bit fishy

Isaac has just had a beautiful swimming pool built in his garden in San Rafael. But his joy is short lived when a building inspector knocks on his door and asks to see the pool.

“Mr. Levy,” says the inspector, “we’ve checked our records and we can’t find any evidence that you obtained official approval to build this pool. Is this correct?”

“Yes,” answers Isaac, “but I didn’t know I needed permission to build in my own back yard. Is permission really required?”

“Oh yes,” replies the inspector, “indeed it’s required. A swimming pool must get official sanction before it’s built. Only if it were an ornamental fish pond, say, would permission not be necessary.”

“OK,” says Isaac, “what you see in front of you is really a natural and ornamental pond.”

“I’m not stupid,” says the inspector. “A 40-foot-long pool such as yours cannot be described as a pond, Mr. Levy.”

“But it is a pond,” argues Isaac, “indeed it is.”

“So if it’s natural, why is there a filter?”

“Because,” replies Isaac, “it’s a gefilte fish pond.”

These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.