Sam and Gilda Shapiro

Sam and Gilda Shapiro are having marriage problems. After counseling with their rabbi they decide to just end their union. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to a beit din to finalize their break-up.

The chief rabbi asks the husband, “What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?”

The husband says, “In the six weeks we’ve been back together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.”

The wife interjects, “Seven weeks, your holiness!”

The quick thinker

Jenny and Vicky meet at Stonestown shopping center and sit down on a bench to chat. After a few minutes have gone by, Jenny suddenly says, “Oy vey, Vicky, just look at the face of that poor boy coming toward us. His mouth is so misshapen that it makes his lips stand out. And his chin — what a double chin it is. His eyes look at each other and he’s already losing his hair.”

“That boy you’ve been describing, Jenny, that boy coming toward us, he is none other than my son, Henry,” says Vicky, with tears in her eyes.

“Oh, is that Henry?” replies Jenny. “On him it looks good.”

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