Celebrity Jews

You’re fired … again

Jennifer Crisafulli can’t catch a break. The reality TV vixen was voted off Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice” for blaming her team’s inability to succeed on “two old Jewish fat ladies … jaded old bags.” Now comes word that Crisafulli has been fired from her job at a NYC real estate firm because the company didn’t want to associate itself with the offensive Crisafulli. “Lawyers across America…I need help,” she said in an interview with the Albany Times Union. “Pro bono.” Um … she doesn’t want to pay retail?

A bald wizard?

Jeffrey Tambor is off to be the wizard. The Emmy-nominated Jewish thespian (“Arrested Development”) has been tapped to play the role of the wizard in a new film entitled “The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz.” Kermit, Piggy and other Muppets will reprise the roles of the characters that Dorothy meets somewhere over the rainbow.

The daily show-off

Congrats to comic genius Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” on winning two Emmys recently for his work on the fake news show. It’s pretty good timing considering Stewart is making the media rounds promoting his new faux textbook “America: A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction.” But the funnyman was put on the spot when the Today Show’s Katie Couric asked Stewart about the homogeneity of his writing staff (read: all white males). “I met all my writers at a seder,” Stewart quickly responded. “If you can find the afikomen, you can write on the show.”

Posing punim

The Beastie Boys, out promoting their new CD, were spotted by the Associated Press posing for a Jewish-themed photo shoot. The news wire eloquently reports: “The members of Beastie Boys are flashing liquor and cash while betting on a street-level parlor game — with a Jewish twist. Instead of a 40-ounce brew, Adrock throttles a bottle of Manischewitz wine. In lieu of dice, MCA tosses a dreidel as Mike D hangs back with a gold Kiddush cup. Moments later, MCA, the band’s self-styled Kung Fu master, chops through a thick stack of matzah bread like Bruce Lee busting through three-ply mahogany.”

They said it

“I went to Jerusalem, got myself photographed at the Western Wall wearing a skullcap. The image was transmitted worldwide instantly and quickly all the great rags changed me overnight into a Zionist. This helped a little.” That’s legendary rocker Bob Dylan in his new autobiography “Chronicles, Volume 1” discussing his 1983 trip to the Holy Land for his son’s bar mitzvah.

Columnist Benyamin Cohen is the editor of Jewsweek magazine (www.jewsweek.com).