A Jewish country song title:

“Stand by your mensch”

The sacrifice

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky “So, Becky, I was wondering, have you ever cheated on me?”

Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question …”

“Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please.”

“Well, all right, three times.”

“Three, hmmm, well when were they?”

“Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan … remember? Then one day the bank president himself came to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked …? Well …”

“Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever to do such a thing for me. So when was number two?”

“Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon wanted to touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again? Well …”

“Oh my God!! Becky, you should do such a thing for me to save my life! I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, oy vey, you must really love me darling. I couldn’t be more moved. So, all right then, when was number three?”

“Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the congregation? And you were a mere 47 votes short …”

Get it?

A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple.

When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and says, “Now I have to arrange for a get.”

The judge inquires what she means by a get. So, the woman explains that a get is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce.

The judge says, “You mean a religious ceremony like a bris?”

She replies, “Very similar, only in this case you get rid of the entire putz."