Life is like a bowl of matzah ball soup
Moskowitz and Finkelstein were in a cafeteria, eating matzah ball soup.
Moskowitz studied his bowl and said with a sigh, “Ah, my friend, life is like this here soup.”
Finkelstein considered that for a moment and then said, “But why is life like a bowl of matzah balls, broth and carrots?”
And Moskowitz replied, “How should I know? Am I a philosopher?”
Good news and bad
Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn’t even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual. He was about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:
“You, Moses, heed me! I have good news, and bad news.”
Moses was staggered. The voice continued:
“You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs. You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust. You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh’s army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land.”
Moses was stunned. He stammered, “That’s … that’s fantastic. I can’t believe it! But what’s the bad news?”
“You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement.”
These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.